Why the bicycle couldn't stand by itself?
It was two tired 😀
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A woman was bitten by a dog and died. On the day of the funeral, many men attended. The woman’s husband was surprised by the number of men at the funeral and thought that his wife was a traitor. He asked one of them, “Do you know this woman?” and he said to him, “I came to buy the dog.”
Peter robbed a pizza shop,and was strucked on the way home.Sure,he was easily caught by the police ,and it may be the first pizza robbery in the world.I think you must laugh.
A man with bad breath asked his wife: “Madame, why do you hate me?” And she said in reply: “Because you love me.”
So you sall a climate activist being atackt by 5 men, why didn't you help? "Well, I thought 5 was inough".
Well,I am not sure if you can get my joke.XDDD
I was asked by my friend if I have a boyfriend.And I said "Yes, but he is from another nation."
She"Which nation?"
Me''imagination'
My wife left me because I’m insecure ...
No wait, she’s back, she just went to get coffee.
Somebody gave me a flyer on anger management. I admit, I lost it.
Joe: "That's a mighty fine stuffed lion, Moe."
Moe: "Why, thank you, Joe. This lion was caught by my uncle during one of his trips to Africa."
Joe: "Fascinating. What is it stuffed with?"
Moe: "My uncle."
I don't have a fit bit, but I have several fat bits.
Life without coffee would be depresso
After my friend turned vegan, it was like I had never seen herbivor
My relationship with whiskey is on the rocks
Why do werewolves remind me of the ocean?
Because they're salty and scare people!
*knock knock*😳🧐
who is it?
X: Monica
monica who?
X: harmonica
An old French lady had a small shop in her village for years until one day a huge corporate supermarket set up across the road from her little shop.
They put up signs advertising their prices, including one that said:
Butter – 10 francs.
In response, the old lady added a sign to her own window:
Butter – 9 francs.
The next day, the big supermarket had a new sign:
Butter – 8 francs.
Sure enough, the day after the lady’s sign now read:
Butter – 7 francs.
This went on for a while until eventually one of the lady’s customers pointed to the sign and said:
“Madame, you cannot keep your prices so low for long. These big companies can use their buying power to sell products cheaper, but a little store like yours can never compete.”
In response, the old lady bent forward conspiratorially and muttered,
“Monsieur, I don’t even sell butter.”
Two chemists went to a restaurant.So why is hydrogen peroxide sold in restaurants?
One chemist just feel a little bit thirsty but he can't remember the word"water",so he said:"I'd like some H 2 O."
Another one said:"I want some H 2 O,too."
After that,the second one was dead.
