Jokes Everyday life and customs

I got so drunk last night, I walked across the dance floor to get another drink and won the dance contest.

There was a chicken.

•❀.¸🌹💀🌹¸.❀• ƇⱤꓴƝƇǶ •❀.¸🌹💀🌹¸.❀•

My mum told me to put a clean pair of socks on every day. I couldn't get my shoes on by the end of the week.

"The inventor of auto-correct died last week. The funnel will be tomato."

On a lonely, moonlit country road a young man's car engine started to cough. Immediately pulling over to a scenic little spot he said to the young lady next to him, "That's funny, I wonder what that knocking noise was?"

"I'll tell you one thing for sure," said the girl coolly, "It wasn't opportunity."

The Bathtub Test

During a visit to my doctor, I asked him, "How do you determine Whether or not an older person should be put in an old age home?"

"Well," he said, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a Teacup and a bucket to the person to empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would use the bucket Because it is bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

"No" he said. "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you
Want a bed near the window?"

A: how old is your girlfriend?
B: 43.
A: Haha, she could be your mother!
B: she could be, but she's yours....

A friend suggested putting horse manure on my strawberries.....
I'm never doing that again I'm going back to whipped cream

A mexican magician said that he would disappear on a count of three

he said one...

two....

POOF!

He left without a tres!!!!

The doorbell rang and the lady of the house discovered a workman, complete with tool chest, at the front door.
“Good morning” he announced, “I’m the piano tuner.”
The lady exclaimed, “Why, I didn’t send for a piano tuner.”
The man replied, “I know, but apparently your neighbours have.”

Two chemists went to a restaurant.
One chemist just feel a little bit thirsty but he can't remember the word"water",so he said:"I'd like some H 2 O."
Another one said:"I want some H 2 O,too."
After that,the second one was dead.

Taking steps to overcome my hiking addiction.
I'm not out of the woods yet

Finally my winter fat is gone.
Now i have spring rolls.

The police have reopened the case of the missing photographer who went missing, due to recent developments

Press the attack!

Scenario: someone is hosting a racket.

Host to player one; put the base bet somewhere player 1.

Host to player two; put the 2nd sum somewhere player two.

Host to player 3; put the base bet somewhere player 3.

Host to player 4; put the base bet somewhere player 4.

Host to player 5; put the base bet somewhere player 5.

Scenario: the host had a friend near him, she also had a group for the racket and operates on secrecy. She always put her sum to the opposite side.

If she didn't operate on secrecy, she wouldn't get a blowout.

Basic 1.2

Player 1: (he is secretly operating like the host due to boredom)
Player 2: ( he is secretly operating like player 5)
Player 3: ( adding more sum to the command. )
Player 4: ( he always suggest to donate or make some wrong move to give away some of the winnings.)
Player 5: an accountant that no company want's to hire her. ( Tears fall down from her face, thinking that the racket won't last a month.)

The host's friend doing the opposite: ( yea, the octafx, binance surely can scam.)

Basic 1.2.1

So ok what's the joke where's the punchline this makes no sense. This is the jokes section you may need to post these somewhere else

No idea what that ‘joke’ was but here’s an AI joke that at least makes sense

Why did Kanye open a bakery?

Because he wanted to be known as a "dough-signer"!

This joke combines Kanye's passion for music and his reputation for being a trendsetter with a play on words involving dough (a key ingredient in baking) and his desire to be a designer. I hope it brings a smile to your face!

not drama in the joke forum

What

To be clear, I understand what was said but not the meaning,
Approximate translation:
Next
Pocoloco
Call your 911 there, and report that freedom is for Americans only.
Put the finger sign in your mouth.

Wife: "There's trouble with the car. it has water in the ignition."
Husband: " Water in the ignition? That's ridiculous."
Wife: " I tell you, the car has water in the ignition."
Husband : " You don't even know what ignition is. Where's the car?"
Wife: " In the swimming pool."