So you sall a climate activist being atackt by 5 men, why didn't you help? "Well, I thought 5 was inough".
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Well,I am not sure if you can get my joke.XDDD
I was asked by my friend if I have a boyfriend.And I said "Yes, but he is from another nation."
She"Which nation?"
Me''imagination'
My wife left me because I’m insecure ...
No wait, she’s back, she just went to get coffee.
Somebody gave me a flyer on anger management. I admit, I lost it.
Joe: "That's a mighty fine stuffed lion, Moe."
Moe: "Why, thank you, Joe. This lion was caught by my uncle during one of his trips to Africa."
Joe: "Fascinating. What is it stuffed with?"
Moe: "My uncle."
I don't have a fit bit, but I have several fat bits.
Life without coffee would be depresso
After my friend turned vegan, it was like I had never seen herbivor
My relationship with whiskey is on the rocks
Why do werewolves remind me of the ocean?
Because they're salty and scare people!
*knock knock*😳🧐
who is it?
X: Monica
monica who?
X: harmonica
An old French lady had a small shop in her village for years until one day a huge corporate supermarket set up across the road from her little shop.
They put up signs advertising their prices, including one that said:
Butter – 10 francs.
In response, the old lady added a sign to her own window:
Butter – 9 francs.
The next day, the big supermarket had a new sign:
Butter – 8 francs.
Sure enough, the day after the lady’s sign now read:
Butter – 7 francs.
This went on for a while until eventually one of the lady’s customers pointed to the sign and said:
“Madame, you cannot keep your prices so low for long. These big companies can use their buying power to sell products cheaper, but a little store like yours can never compete.”
In response, the old lady bent forward conspiratorially and muttered,
“Monsieur, I don’t even sell butter.”
Two chemists went to a restaurant.So why is hydrogen peroxide sold in restaurants?
One chemist just feel a little bit thirsty but he can't remember the word"water",so he said:"I'd like some H 2 O."
Another one said:"I want some H 2 O,too."
After that,the second one was dead.
A man walks into a bar. He orders two shots, drinks them both, and then leaves.
The next day, the man returns, orders another two shots, drinks them both, and then leaves.
He continues to do this for some time, when one day the bartender questions him, “How come you always order exactly two shots?”
The man replies, “well, you see my brother and I used to go out drinking every night, but he lives across the country now, so every night, I order two drinks. One for myself, and one for my brother.”
Things remain the same for a while until one day the man comes in and orders only one shot. The bartender becomes concerned and asks him “how come you’re only ordering one shot? Did something happen to your brother? Is he ok?”
The man replies, “of course not, my brother’s fine. I just quit drinking.”
Teacher @Pennarossa2024 looks in his class and looks at his student @Etienne who is 5 years old. And he says to Etienne: "Don't speak during the class with your friends but answer this question: Mention a bug that has no legs." And Etienne answers: "A worm!" Pennarossa nods with his head. "Very good Etienne! Now mention another bug with no legs!" Etienne looks back at the teacher and answers in a loud voice: "Another worm!" 😬😬🙄🙄