Jokes

Teacher: which hand you used to write with?

Student: neither, I always use a pencil to write!

Teacher to student: “Make a sentence using the word “I”

Student: “I is..”

Teacher: “No that is not correct, you should say I am”

Student: “Ok. I am the ninth letter in the Alphabet”!

In a French primary school,the teacher asks a student :
"How much is 2+3?"
"I don't know."
"What about 1+3?"
"Idk."
"Well...Then what about 4×20+10+8?"
"Oh I know! It's 98!"

I think you'll get it if you know a little French hahaha😂

Quatre-vingt-dix-huit 🤣🤣

zsrq007,
my kind of jokes.
simple twist at the end

a: "I think we should think outside the box and set a Guinness record."

b: "Good idea"

a: "I'm going to cut down a tree, sharpen both ends, and apply for the world's largest toothpick."

b: "Why don't you think of something practical?"

a: "I‘ll dig a hole in the ground, fill it with water, and claim the smallest lake in the world."

b: "I'll just dig three holes in the ground, put three fingers out and apply for the world's largest bowling ball."

I saw my friend the other day , he said that he had met a guy down the road who had a wooden leg called Fred. Ok I said what was his other leg called?

Today I have read a great joke: Trifft ein Elefant auf zwei Ameisen. Fragen die Ameisen: "Wollen wir kämpfen?" Sagt der Elefant:"Zwei gegen einen ist unfair."

I think this topic is a great idea, because it is healthy , when you laugh .Thank you for this idea.

A: Are you sleeping?
B: yes!

A: do you hear me?
B: no!

Do you like Darjeeling, don't know I've never Darjeeled.

I guy walked into a bar. Ouch he said that hurt

How do you know there's an elephant in the fridge ?, Footprints in the butter,
How do you know there's 2 elephants in the fridge ? Sounds of giggling.
How do you know there's 3 elephants in the fridge ? You cant shut the door !

Hat der Phillip kalte Schuhe, steht er in der Tiefkühltruhe.

there are a hundred bricks in a plane.one fall out. how many bricks are left? - 99
How do you put an elephant in the refrigerator? - open the fridge, put the elephant in close. the refrigerator
what are the four steps to putting a giraffe in the refrigerator? - 1. open the refrigerator 2.take the elephant out 3. put the giraffe in 4.close refrigerator
there was a birthday party for the animal kingdom. who didn't go? - the giraffe that's in the refrigerator
sally had to cross the bridge the bridge was filled with alligators? how'd she crawl safely? - the alligator’s at the party
sally finally crosses the bridge and she dies. what happens? - she got hit by the falling brick

A pun has not completely matured until it is fully groan...

Barry calls his boss and says, “I’m having trouble with my eyes.”

“What’s wrong with them?” the boss asks.

“I can’t see myself coming into work today,” says Barry.

I got so drunk last night, I walked across the dance floor to get another drink and won the dance contest.

There was a chicken.

•❀.¸🌹💀🌹¸.❀• ƇⱤꓴƝƇǶ •❀.¸🌹💀🌹¸.❀•