Is Penpal‐gate That Dead?

I really dont know if i should react or not but i wanted only to say a few things because it also feels like with social media bans that people decide it and that we cant really say anything about it or that people think it is not important anyway what we think about it. That is why also it can make u feel really unsure if people say minor because it feels like you are less important and not equal because you are minor and not equal. And i know some others also feel the same way of my friends because i asked it and some also agree that it makes u feel less important than others. And i know that maybe people dont mean it that way but still often i think that they think more about what other adults say and are only polite if they listen to u.

I changed the setting so i can chat with everybody because i think maybe half of my friends are adults and other half not and it is maybe because of forums because i write a lot and i know maybe too much. But i think that is not wrong because for example if i want to talk to @mayuuram or @Fleurke it is not possible if it is with the normal setting. And from all the chatting only few times it was wrong like racist and one time that something bad happened really but i reported it and that person was banned because he did that also with others i know. And only two times people called me names and the last time it was not somebody much older but 18 so that is not VERY big difference with age and it can always happen that people act in that way so i just ignore them.

But now it feels like it is also wrong if you chat in only a nice way with others even if it is only friendly and nice. And i wanted to say to @Korisnik that i NEVER chatted about sex with anybody and it is not in my head and i wanted to say that because it would be super embarrassing if maybe people think that and i really dont want that. I know that u say it to protect but i feel super embarrassed if that is what everybody else also thinks because that is not the case.

And i think that what @Follower-of-Christ said of the three points that it is maybe a good solution if everybody thinks that too. But i would not want to loose like HALF of my friends on PPG if we cant chat anymore about normal and just nice things. But i also think only the age should change if u have birthday and we have a birthday calendar!!!! So everybody can see it. 🙂 And i think it is normal if adults want to have separate forums that is good and i dont need to look in that because that is for them so i have not a problem with that at all.

Sorry if i say things in the wrong way or that i should not post what i think. But i feel like it is also important to say what we feel and think even if people think it is maybe not or less important and th

@Yue_ I hope we always remain friends, that I know when you get engaged, when you get married and have children, I see you as my little niece here and am happy and proud of you that you always say I'm going to sleep at 10:30 PM, great niece, great forum creator, great ballerina

I really dont know if i should react or not but i wanted only to say a few things because it also feels like with social media bans that people decide it and that we cant really say anything about it or that people think it is not important anyway what we think about it. That is why also it can make u feel really unsure if people say minor because it feels like you are less important and not equal because you are minor and not equal. And i know some others also feel the same way of my friends because i asked it and some also agree that it makes u feel less important than others. And i know that maybe people dont mean it that way but still often i think that they think more about what other adults say and are only polite if they listen to u.

I changed the setting so i can chat with everybody because i think maybe half of my friends are adults and other half not and it is maybe because of forums because i write a lot and i know maybe too much. But i think that is not wrong because for example if i want to talk to @mayuuram or @Fleurke it is not possible if it is with the normal setting. And from all the chatting only few times it was wrong like racist and one time that something bad happened really but i reported it and that person was banned because he did that also with others i know. And only two times people called me names and the last time it was not somebody much older but 18 so that is not VERY big difference with age and it can always happen that people act in that way so i just ignore them.

But now it feels like it is also wrong if you chat in only a nice way with others even if it is only friendly and nice. And i wanted to say to @Korisnik that i NEVER chatted about sex with anybody and it is not in my head and i wanted to say that because it would be super embarrassing if maybe people think that and i really dont want that. I know that u say it to protect but i feel super embarrassed if that is what everybody else also thinks because that is not the case.

And i think that what @Follower-of-Christ said of the three points that it is maybe a good solution if everybody thinks that too. But i would not want to loose like HALF of my friends on PPG if we cant chat anymore about normal and just nice things. But i also think only the age should change if u have birthday and we have a birthday calendar!!!! So everybody can see it. 🙂 And i think it is normal if adults want to have separate forums that is good and i dont need to look in that because that is for them so i have not a problem with that at all.

Sorry if i say things in the wrong way or that i should not post what i think. But i feel like it is also important to say what we feel and think even if people think it is maybe not or less important and that they decide it.

Thank you, @Yue_. Because this was the point I was trying to make...

It sucks being old enough to be aware of things in the world, good and bad, and yet everyone treats you like a kid who doesn't know any better.

Honestly, there are good reasons to be concerned for the safety of people ...under the age of majority... but we've become so oversensitized that even normal interactions are seen as suspicious these days.

Let's face it, when you're a teen, you will probably seek affirmation from adults. It makes you feel like someone, other than mom & dad, values you as a person.

Case in point .. I remember when I was 15 and in a band and we opened for Warzone.. this was a big deal for us. As musicians, we sucked, and I remember being embarrassed about it. I remember when Raybeez (Warzone's singer, RIP) came up to us after the show and thanked us for being there. I recall saying something to the effect of .. "Sorry we sucked." He said. "You didn't suck, you had heart, and that's what matters." I'll never forget how good that made me feel. Sadly, with the way people seem to think nowadays, that would have made Ray a suspected pedo...and Ray was anything but.

So I hear you, @Yue_ and I agree with you and see where you're coming from. I don't care if others here feel that's weird or questionable.

Thank you very much @Fleurke and @Based_Aura for what u wrote both!!! 🙏🙏😊🥰 That means a lot for me because i know everybody tries the best and be kind but also i feel that it is ok if EVERYBODY writes what they think in this forum and i was not sure of that. And u are right @Based_Aura because the first time i made a forum it was super scary because u dont know the opinions of u from everybody else and maybe they only think it is stupid and dumb what u write. But now i normally dont think too much when i make a forum if i think it is maybe a nice topic. BUTTTT it is always really nice if people post comments because it means that they like the topic too or that they want to say something and that gives me always a nice feeling. Because people take it serious even if it is just a funny topic or something else. 🙂 It makes me feel more certain even if that is stupid but still it does make u feel that way and it is really nice to read if for example u made the questions urself and people answer them!! ❤️

I want to apologise to @Korisnik because i dont want that he thinks i dont agree it was just that i dont want that people think one thing of me that i think is super embarrassing and that's it.

And i think what @Follower-of-Christ wrote with the ideas is a good idea maybe to talk about. I cant always read all forums so i just read what i like from topics or when im tagged i always try to read it. But i cant read everything and if there are forums for only adults i think that is ok because there are so many other forums still so i think it is a good idea if people like to have that too. 😊😇

my 15-year-old daughter is not allowed on Penpals, why she has to hand over her phone at 9:30 PM, and why I regularly check if her older brother checks her friends on her social media. She says she is the only mother who does this, but I am damn proud of it. When I hear that some of her classmates are still online at 3 AM, I wonder who they are still talking to at that hour.

That's exactly how to be a good mom, parents need to keep track of what their kids do online and how long they spend on their phone. That said, it is ultimately the parents' responsibility and not service administrators to educate children. Fun story: I remember getting an email a few years ago from a mom who said she uses PPG with her disabled teenager who didn't have many friends in real life. He was able to make friends online, it was a very fulfilling experience for him as her mom was supervising his activity. She was very thankful she found the community and it made my day.

The main problem is that actually adults can contact minors here, I have successfully done it few times. The other potential problem I have already described in my previous comment - whenever I see an adult speak to minor overly friendly my alarm turns on. Maybe I am overreacting but you and all others know that teenagers today tend to dress and behave like adults due to social media (Fleurke, I think you do an excellent job here with your daughter) on a larger scale when I was at that age and especially when you and most other people from this forum were at that age. They also sometimes think about sex all the time (at least boys, for girls I don't know), just like perverts who are chronologically adults but their minds are still on high school level so it's not that hard to convince them to do it. I understand you are only one who manage this site and it's hard to control everything, especially when you actually read and think about what people say.

Adults cannot contact minors by default. If they can, it means the minor took action to disable their privacy settings. PPG is meant to protect users as best as possible, but it isn't designed to be a prison either. If you crash your car after turning off the airbag and get injured, should the car manufacturer cover your hospital bill? 😛

If I may suggest something, I would suggest you to become a bit stereotypical when reviewing profiles. We all know that certain groups of immigrants who are present in your country in a large group and who worship illiterate paedophile have no problems with paedophilia as well as some other Germanic countries in Europe. I would pay extra attention to accounts from these groups and countries for the start. Before you all attack me, of course I agree there can be paedophiles everywhere, I am just stating the fact that their actions are less criminalized in certain societies which gives them more courage to act upon their sick intentions. For other suggestions, I really don't know what to say, you have better understanding of softwares and algorythms and you are older than me so your crystalized intelligence is more developed than mine. You know better than me what to do to protect minors.

This is already how it works: machine learning is used to detect fraudulent or otherwise "risky" accounts. It doesn't really have predetermined rules, it just learns over time and adapts. It has worked very well because it finds similar patterns. Of course it isn't bulletproof, nothing is. But I would genuinely be surprised if other penpal sites do a better job than PPG in this department.

1. Fix the age and put up a warning that it cannot be undone or changed thenceforth. I found it extremely odd when I realized could change it as I pleased (what is the point?).

The platform was initially designed with this in mind. However I went back on that for 2 reasons:
- legally speaking, GDPR requires all personal information to be editable by users, even what it supposed to be permanent (😑️)
- it doesn't prevent people from making fake accounts right off the bat

It doesn't mean I'll never do it, but the effectiveness would be very limited due to the latter.

2. Community guidelines *since the forums are a feature and not the main function (keep it simple‐respectful, no swearing, inappropriate talk in public spaces where minors are present), and make the individual reporting of someone's comments, rather than just the user possible, so that one can review, timeout or ban that person once they reach a certain threshold after multiple warnings.

Users must be respectful and refrain from inappropriate talk. The reporting feature is a core component of how moderation is handled: it's essentially community driven. When someone (or something) is reported multiple times, they may end up getting blocked or banned automatically. The system decides what is most appropriate. That's why it's important to block or report when you see something bad. Of course there needs to be a valid reason, unfortunately the report feature is routinely abused as a way to retaliate against other members for stupid reasons.

3. Then (because it's easy to feel bad for peeps who want to be openly racist and meme), create a single space where adults can hang out and shoot the breeze, while keeping it effectively blocked from minors' view (though it's a wonder why they can't just do that privately).

I get you, but if they need a space dedicated to inappropriate behavior then they should probably refrain from it altogether. What's next, a safe space for p*rn? 😛. I'm not willing to go down that slippery slope. Like you said, private messages are already private.

Something to that effect (besides the mini adult wildlands) is what I have seen successfully incorporated into many clean, user‐friendly spaces. Decent places to take inspiration from are question/answer sites and old web forum games ‐ they did a great job of allowing freedom of expression while also maintaining a respectful public environment.

Maybe good old age categories would be good enough instead of subject based forums, I have to think about all the consequences it entails. I just want to avoid any detrimental gatekeeping, but I'm sure there is room to find a good balance between protecting minors and @Yue_'s good points

Hm, @Fleurke a way we're different from each other: when I get future children, and they become old inough (min. age for PPG) I'd like to get them to penpal gate as well. But I prefet them kn PPG, NOT Interpals!

That's exactly how to be a good mom, parents need to keep track of what their kids do online and how long they spend on their phone. That said, it is ultimately the parents' responsibility and not service administrators to educate children. Fun story: I remember getting an email a few years ago from a mom who said she uses PPG with her disabled teenager who didn't have many friends in real life. He was able to make friends online, it was a very fulfilling experience for him as her mom was supervising his activity. She was very thankful she found the community and it made my day.

Adults cannot contact minors by default. If they can, it means the minor took action to disable their privacy settings. PPG is meant to protect users as best as possible, but it isn't designed to be a prison either. If you crash your car after turning off the airbag and get injured, should the car manufacturer cover your hospital bill? 😛

This is already how it works: machine learning is used to detect fraudulent or otherwise "risky" accounts. It doesn't really have predetermined rules, it just learns over time and adapts. It has worked very well because it finds similar patterns. Of course it isn't bulletproof, nothing is. But I would genuinely be surprised if other penpal sites do a better job than PPG in this department.

The platform was initially designed with this in mind. However I went back on that for 2 reasons:
- legally speaking, GDPR requires all personal information to be editable by users, even what it supposed to be permanent (😑️)
- it doesn't prevent people from making fake accounts right off the bat

It doesn't mean I'll never do it, but the effectiveness would be very limited due to the latter.

Users must be respectful and refrain from inappropriate talk. The reporting feature is a core component of how moderation is handled: it's essentially community driven. When someone (or something) is reported multiple times, they may end up getting blocked or banned automatically. The system decides what is most appropriate. That's why it's important to block or report when you see something bad. Of course there needs to be a valid reason, unfortunately the report feature is routinely abused as a way to retaliate against other members for stupid reasons.

I get you, but if they need a space dedicated to inappropriate behavior then they should probably refrain from it altogether. What's next, a safe space for p*rn? 😛. I'm not willing to go down that slippery slope. Like you said, private messages are already private.

Maybe good old age categories would be good enough instead of subject based forums, I have to think about all the consequences it entails. I just want to avoid any detrimental gatekeeping, but I'm sure there is room to find a good balance between protecting minors and @Yue_'s good points

Merciii beaucoup @Etienne!!! 🙏😊🙏 I have one tip too and that is that u dont mention hometown on ur profile if u maybe feel uncomfortable about that. I deleted that because one time i felt uncertain because if somebody knows for example that u do ballet or other sport and with the name of your hometown they can find super easy where u do that.

Merciii beaucoup @Etienne!!! 🙏😊🙏 I have one tip too and that is that u dont mention hometown on ur profile if u maybe feel uncomfortable about that. I deleted that because one time i felt uncertain because if somebody knows for example that u do ballet or other sport and with the name of your hometown they can find super easy where u do that.

On interpals.. a crazy woman from Malaysia once called every home health provider in the DC Area and found out where my mom worked .. and called her! I got a bewildered call from my mom when I arrived in Riga.

No joke. I admit I ghosted her because she gave me dumpster fire vibes, and i was in the middle of heading to the Baltics for a military posting, so I was busy moving.

Lesson? Don't go into a lot of detail about your parents or personal life. People stalk adults as well.

On interpals.. a crazy woman from Malaysia once called every home health provider in the DC Area and found out where my mom worked .. and called her! I got a bewildered call from my mom when I arrived in Riga.

No joke. I admit I ghosted her because she gave me dumpster fire vibes, and i was in the middle of heading to the Baltics for a military posting, so I was busy moving.

Lesson? Don't go into a lot of detail about your parents or personal life. People stalk adults as well.

$h€ lov€$ Am€rican$

The platform was initially designed with this in mind. However I went back on that for 2 reasons:

- legally speaking, GDPR requires all personal information to be editable by users, even what it supposed to be permanent (😑️)
- it doesn't prevent people from making fake accounts right off the bat

It doesn't mean I'll never do it, but the effectiveness would be very limited due to the latter.

About the GDPR, I think I know of a workaround ‐ and I've seen age lock incorporated rapidly before with seemingly no trouble from them.
The simplest way of making it impossible is by requiring identity verification for future attempts at age change (after offering one final age change option to all users and the popup(s) about 'cannot be undone' yadda yadda and so forth). Allowing leeway for the day and month could be alright, but the year would be fixed.

...My intrusive thought reading the second point was, "welp, they're going to steal my car anyway, so I may as well unlock it"😆

We don't need to make crime legal because "it doesn't stop crime", the prevention just requires consequence and enforcement (which I know is hard if you're basically Rambo)!

But seriously, do you really want the people who do that?

Why not keep it genuine ‐ a community brought together by the love of letter‐writing, focused on what this place was all about☺

Users must be respectful and refrain from inappropriate talk. The reporting feature is a core component of how moderation is handled: it's essentially community driven. When someone (or something) is reported multiple times, they may end up getting blocked or banned automatically. The system decides what is most appropriate. That's why it's important to block or report when you see something bad. Of course there needs to be a valid reason, unfortunately the report feature is routinely abused as a way to retaliate against other members for stupid reasons.

It's good you have those standards in place. I understand maintaining them can be difficult, especially if you're running a tight ship, but that is just what is expected of any halfway decent site now. Histrionic and sexual perverse spam/meltdowns (let alone being off‐topic!) might make for a poor sample to new users searching for genuine, long‐term connections.

Ideally there should be some kind of monitoring in the forums, or at the very least within the popular ones.

Yes, if you're accustomed to being a one‐man‐band, abuse of power can be a concern when first designating such a task, so keeping the rules simple and straightforward from the get go will make future challenges more easily resolvable. Babysitting sad lonely users shouldn't be yours or our job!

"Be ready for growth or get set on failure" ‐ Someone, probably

I get you, but if they need a space dedicated to inappropriate behavior then they should probably refrain from it altogether.

Amen to that♥

That's exactly how to be a good mom, parents need to keep track of what their kids do online and how long they spend on their phone. That said, it is ultimately the parents' responsibility and not service administrators to educate children. Fun story: I remember getting an email a few years ago from a mom who said she uses PPG with her disabled teenager who didn't have many friends in real life. He was able to make friends online, it was a very fulfilling experience for him as her mom was supervising his activity. She was very thankful she found the community and it made my day.

Agreed. I once helped get a Sudanese friend I met on Interpals, into a scholarship program through the US embassy to study at UNC -Chapel Hill..she was 16 when we started pen-paling and I was 43. We still keep it touch to this day.

Adults cannot contact minors by default. If they can, it means the minor took action to disable their privacy settings. PPG is meant to protect users as best as possible, but it isn't designed to be a prison either. If you crash your car after turning off the airbag and get injured, should the car manufacturer cover your hospital bill? 😛

Thank you. Rigid rules tend to invite the Streisand Effect. Teens are going to find a way around them. I don't recall having to upload my ID to PPG when I created an account. Minors masquerading as adults is a MASSIVE recipe for disaster.

This is already how it works: machine learning is used to detect fraudulent or otherwise "risky" accounts. It doesn't really have predetermined rules, it just learns over time and adapts. It has worked very well because it finds similar patterns. Of course it isn't bulletproof, nothing is. But I would genuinely be surprised if other penpal sites do a better job than PPG in this department.

From my perspective, it's leaps and bounds better than Interpals.

The platform was initially designed with this in mind. However I went back on that for 2 reasons:
- legally speaking, GDPR requires all personal information to be editable by users, even what it supposed to be permanent (😑️)
- it doesn't prevent people from making fake accounts right off the bat

It doesn't mean I'll never do it, but the effectiveness would be very limited due to the latter.

Users must be respectful and refrain from inappropriate talk. The reporting feature is a core component of how moderation is handled: it's essentially community driven. When someone (or something) is reported multiple times, they may end up getting blocked or banned automatically. The system decides what is most appropriate. That's why it's important to block or report when you see something bad. Of course there needs to be a valid reason, unfortunately the report feature is routinely abused as a way to retaliate against other members for stupid reasons.

With all due respect to Follower, this is exactly why I am very wary of trying to report anything that whiffs of offense. I was once banned from a forum with the subject "What is the appeal of Nazi Uniforms." Did i say something offensive, did I make holocaust jokes? Nope. I said "maybe it's because they have that slick, art-deco appeal."

Another time we had a rather odious pro-life guy in a chat. People have a right to their opinions, but he was rude and would make his attacks personal if you disagreed with him. He had me banned because I stood up to his bullying.

Need I go on? Contentious and divisive topics are going to pop up. Strong language might be used (curse words are a routine for some of us here whether we are angry or not). Are we going to go down that road? I hope not. I've seen puritanical people absolutely kill discussion boards and websites because dealing with them is such a headache and they are the first to complain why the boards are "dead."

Also. Bans. I understand they are necessary. Are they permanent? Do those that get banned have a right to plead their case? What will happen to those that abuse the reporting feature?

I get you, but if they need a space dedicated to inappropriate behavior then they should probably refrain from it altogether. What's next, a safe space for p*rn? 😛. I'm not willing to go down that slippery slope. Like you said, private messages are already private.

I hate to say this ... but what is defined as "inappropriate," other the obvious (pron, suggestive discussions towards those under 18, etc.)? We have a forum discussion up about weird swear words, I've been toying with starting a forum asking people what are things that can inadvertently cause offense in their culture....or better yet.. what if someone puts "occult corner" or "atheist clearinghouse?" Discussions in those rooms might cause offense to someone. Better yet @Korisnik made some comments above that Muslim friends i have would find highly offensive. He has a right to make them though. Would it be right for someone to ban him because their feelings might be hurt?

Elephant in the room. Did what happen yesterday get out of hand? Yes. Do I think it was meant at anyone in particular...no. What i saw was simple shock value. I guess I'm used to stuff like that though.

Maybe good old age categories would be good enough instead of subject based forums, I have to think about all the consequences it entails. I just want to avoid any detrimental gatekeeping, but I'm sure there is room to find a good balance between protecting minors and .

@Yue_ deputizing you for this, since you're a popular poster among the over AND under 18 crowds. And you are better suited to police the under 18s.

How about simply putting "+18" in the title of any majority age discussions. Will it stop younguns from coming in? Probably not. Will they see the content? probably? But since they aren't supposed to be there, posters can't be blamed for targeting them. And those that repeatedly ignore warnings can cool their heels in Bantown.

Example "(+18) What's the worst thing that happened to you on a date?"

Just my $2 there.

Based aura bro you should create a forum I think it would interesting to find out what offends others in different cultures if there anything like mine it doesn’t take much.

I have just said 'worshipers of illiterate paedophile'. I'm not responsible how people will interpret that and with which group they will associate them 😊.

About the GDPR, I think I know of a workaround ‐ and I've seen age lock incorporated rapidly before with seemingly no trouble from them.
The simplest way of making it impossible is by requiring identity verification for future attempts at age change (after offering one final age change option to all users and the popup(s) about 'cannot be undone' yadda yadda and so forth). Allowing leeway for the day and month could be alright, but the year would be fixed.

Isn't it quite ironic that the one guy really pushing for this safeguard is the only person with an obviously fake age? 😛

...My intrusive thought reading the second point was, "welp, they're going to steal my car anyway, so I may as well unlock it"😆

We don't need to make crime legal because "it doesn't stop crime", the prevention just requires consequence and enforcement (which I know is hard if you're basically Rambo)!

I can't say I disagree with this. The thing is that any change I make on this platform typically takes several hours of work, so I have to carefully assess how much of an impact it will have. PPG isn't my job, I have a full time job and I take care of the platform during my free time. Thus, my resources are (very) limited. Since I know the age thing isn't the quickest change to make and its impact will be extremely limited, it doesn't really justify the time investment. I'd rather focus on behavioral analysis which is a much bigger net.

It's good you have those standards in place. I understand maintaining them can be difficult, especially if you're running a tight ship, but that is just what is expected of any halfway decent site now. Histrionic and sexual perverse spam/meltdowns (let alone being off‐topic!) might make for a poor sample to new users searching for genuine, long‐term connections.

Ideally there should be some kind of monitoring in the forums, or at the very least within the popular ones.

Are you applying to be a volunteer? Shifts are 24/7 and I'm willing to share the compensation of $0 😃

With all due respect to Follower, this is exactly why I am very wary of trying to report anything that whiffs of offense. I was once banned from a forum with the subject "What is the appeal of Nazi Uniforms." Did i say something offensive, did I make holocaust jokes? Nope. I said "maybe it's because they have that slick, art-deco appeal."

Another time we had a rather odious pro-life guy in a chat. People have a right to their opinions, but he was rude and would make his attacks personal if you disagreed with him. He had me banned because I stood up to his bullying.

Need I go on? Contentious and divisive topics are going to pop up. Strong language might be used (curse words are a routine for some of us here whether we are angry or not). Are we going to go down that road? I hope not. I've seen puritanical people absolutely kill discussion boards and websites because dealing with them is such a headache and they are the first to complain why the boards are "dead."

I hate to say this ... but what is defined as "inappropriate," other the obvious (pron, suggestive discussions towards those under 18, etc.)? We have a forum discussion up about weird swear words, I've been toying with starting a forum asking people what are things that can inadvertently cause offense in their culture....or better yet.. what if someone puts "occult corner" or "atheist clearinghouse?" Discussions in those rooms might cause offense to someone. Better yet @Korisnik made some comments above that Muslim friends i have would find highly offensive. He has a right to make them though. Would it be right for someone to ban him because their feelings might be hurt?

Elephant in the room. Did what happen yesterday get out of hand? Yes. Do I think it was meant at anyone in particular...no. What i saw was simple shock value. I guess I'm used to stuff like that though.

Free speech is important, so you won't get banned for saying you think Nazi uniforms are stylish, or if you support communist regimes, or whatever else that may be considered "controversial" (though I dislike this term). You can openly talk about ideas. There have been many heated discussions in the forum about abortion, Trump, war in Ukraine, etc. What crosses the line is (actual) hate speech - even disguised as jokes - , targeting groups of people, personal attacks, harassment or bullying, and there is limited freedom of religion in the forum so as to preserve a universally neutral space.

Also. Bans. I understand they are necessary. Are they permanent? Do those that get banned have a right to plead their case? What will happen to those that abuse the reporting feature?

If you get reported enough times that the system decides you should receive some kind of ban, I double check to make sure it made the right call. Sometimes bans are lifted, though it rarely makes mistakes. Some bans are permanent, others are partial and/or temporary (it isn't transparent for the end user, this is something that should be improved).

Users used to be able to appeal, but I removed this some time ago because it always ended up being a waste of time since I made sure it was deserved to begin with.

Those who abuse the reporting feature simply get their reports more and more diluted to a point where they're essentially a placebo effect.

Based aura bro you should create a forum I think it would interesting to find out what offends others in different cultures if there anything like mine it doesn’t take much.

Haha. I should. I'm weary of starting a forum discussion tho. Partially because I don't want it to get out of hand and partially because like @Etienne, I have a job.. music projects, a possible new gf and other life stuff.. and i don't want to complicate things.

Isn't it quite ironic that the one guy really pushing for this safeguard is the only person with an obviously fake age? 😛

To my point. You know very well why the ability to change your age after finalization is a concern. It appeals only to two types of people. People who enjoy pretending to be an age they are not, and those who can see that if the posted age means nothing and does not reflect reality, there is no reason to use it.

I can't say I disagree with this. The thing is that any change I make on this platform typically takes several hours of work, so I have to carefully assess how much of an impact it will have. PPG isn't my job, I have a full time job and I take care of the platform during my free time. Thus, my resources are (very) limited. Since I know the age thing isn't the quickest change to make and its impact will be extremely limited, it doesn't really justify the time investment. I'd rather focus on behavioral analysis which is a much bigger net.

I understand, and I'm grateful for you taking the time.

However, unless there is some catastrophic coding, the age change issue should only require a popup warning for next time someone decides to play pretend, then locking it. Surely not so difficult as the other feats you've accomplished here!

Are you applying to be a volunteer? Shifts are 24/7 and I'm willing to share the compensation of $0 😃

No, but I am happy to help you with the process and resources necessary to make this possible.

..despite the disturbing behavior I've witnessed go under the radar, the rest you've been able to do with what you have is admirable. Close to perfect in fact for a minimalist like me who just needed a place to share the joys of her life by pen. So I want to thank you for making Penpal‐gate. It really was a lovely idea. I pray you will begin to take maintaining it seriously, rather than letting morally questionable things slide for the worry of losing forum traffic (in reality, these things are hindering the wholesome and inviting the ethically impoverished). It is easy to let darkness lead you, but I guarantee you, you won't end up anywhere good. Take charge. Define the rules. No society survives without laws.

Integrity is the best policy, Etienne. Stay steadfast in truth.

"Let love be without dissimulation. Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good.” ‐ Romans 12:9

I have thought about what @Follower-of-Christ said and maybe i have a nice idea!!! Ok so if u make a new forum u always have to select category. And i thought maybe it is a nice idea to have more categories and if u select for example 18+ or a new category for only teen or maybe even category that u can select by tagging who sees it, then u can have like a chatroom because many people say they miss the chatroom even when there were not a lot of people in it normally.

So for example:

➡️ New category 18+ and only adults can make a new forum and it is blocked if u are not an adult.

➡️ New teen category and it is blocked for adults except maybe @Etienne or perhaps @BartL or another person who checks it who is a moderator.

➡️ New category and u can tag and select people and only they see the posts. This is maybe nice instead of the chatroom so u can have like a group chat.

For example im now making with Vibee @Vibxen the interview of @Agnes128 and Viggaaa @Vixie and it is a LOTTT easier to have a group chat for the questions and answers because now we have to copy paste all the time. And that is also the case if i interview somebody together with Nidhi @Nishu and i know that @Fleurke and some others miss the chatroom so perhaps this way it can work.

But i dont know if it takes a LOTTTT of work to make new categories. Perhaps it is also nice to have a category for interviews because now im keeping this list: https://penpal-gate.net/forum/12-everyday-life-and-customs/9647-overview-of-interviews It is only an idea and im not sure if it is a lot of work or not really and if people like the idea. 🙂

I have thought about what @Follower-of-Christ said and maybe i have a nice idea!!! Ok so if u make a new forum u always have to select category. And i thought maybe it is a nice idea to have more categories and if u select for example 18+ or a new category for only teen or maybe even category that u can select by tagging who sees it, then u can have like a chatroom because many people say they miss the chatroom even when there were not a lot of people in it normally.

So for example:

➡️ New category 18+ and only adults can make a new forum and it is blocked if u are not an adult.

➡️ New teen category and it is blocked for adults except maybe @Etienne or perhaps @BartL or another person who checks it who is a moderator.

➡️ New category and u can tag and select people and only they see the posts. This is maybe nice instead of the chatroom so u can have like a group chat.

For example im now making with Vibee @Vibxen the interview of @Agnes128 and Viggaaa @Vixie and it is a LOTTT easier to have a group chat for the questions and answers because now we have to copy paste all the time. And that is also the case if i interview somebody together with Nidhi @Nishu and i know that @Fleurke and some others miss the chatroom so perhaps this way it can work.

But i dont know if it takes a LOTTTT of work to make new categories. Perhaps it is also nice to have a category for interviews because now im keeping this list: https://penpal-gate.net/forum/12-everyday-life-and-customs/9647-overview-of-interviews It is only an idea and im not sure if it is a lot of work or not really and if people like the idea. 🙂

For meee, this site is greatttt, PPG is one of the best thing that happened to meeee✨🥹!!! I regret that i can't spend more time here because I'm a minor and my parents are strictttt, so one hour a day is how much I get the internet forrrr and I have to studyyy or clear doubts in that time toooo 😖✨.
I don't see any purpose of creating a 18+ category, this site is used to make friends, I can't understand why there should EVERRRR be something 18+ between friends? Something that minors need to stay away from? Everytime I read this forum i just get more and moreee confusedddd 😭😭. I think I'm missing something hereee, but I don't feel good while everyone is trying to separate minors awayyyy from the rest of the groupsss, I feel kinda left outttt💔🥀. I have wanted to say that ever since I saw this forum, but I chose to keep quiet, because I'm a minor here and I also saw how almost no one took Yue's concern in consideration and kept on going about being minor and shi. Seriously guyss, it hurtssss to see that we are not equal even among friends just because of age. It's not like we are creating any problemsss, it can't only be because we're not 18+, right??

For me....

For You.... 😋🙂
and all those interested as well....