Hi everyone, I am curious about the red warning bar which appears sometimes when you are sending messages to people. It’s tempting to tell people about yourself and where you live when you are trying to make friends, but what should you definitely not say? I have been contacted by people who want to talk, or perhaps improve their English, but they disappear after a message or two. Maybe it’s just that I’m old and boring lol! But is there something sinister going on that they are trying to find things out about you for fraudulent purposes? (Of course I don’t give out my address or insurance number or even phone number but I share pictures and talk about my life) I can understand the reason for a warning if it’s a new member, but there isn’t a warning with all of them, and yet there is sometimes with a few people I have known for months and have grown to trust.
I think u have to be super careful about it and in the beginning i didnt have many rules BUTTTT after something happened i almost had to delete my account from my parents. But now i can be here but only after we agreed some rules that are important. For example i do NOTTT give details about our home or share photos or socials and things like that. And i think if maybe i meet people it is only ok now if my parents are ALSO there and only the best friends i trust like for example maybe @Fleurke and @mayuuram and @Chantal- and others but i think that my parents only allow it if they also there. ANDDD i deleted my hometown from my profile because people can find you if they know for example that u do a sport like in my case ballet AND your hometown then they can find you super easily. So those things i cannot tell anymore and i deleted also from my profile.
I think u have to be super careful about it and in the beginning i didnt have many rules BUTTTT after something happened i almost had to delete my account from my parents. But now i can be here but only after we agreed some rules that are important. For example i do NOTTT give details about our home or share photos or socials and things like that. And i think if maybe i meet people it is only ok now if my parents are ALSO there and only the best friends i trust like for example maybe @Fleurke and @mayuuram and @Chantal- and others but i think that my parents only allow it if they also there. ANDDD i deleted my hometown from my profile because people can find you if they know for example that u do a sport like in my case ballet AND your hometown then they can find you super easily. So those things i cannot tell anymore and i deleted also from my profile.
You are a young lady and of course I understand that you wouldn’t want to be stalked or anything creepy. I would have different concerns, like being scammed (people on other sites have tried scamming me) or identity theft. It’s just having an idea of how much to share is not always easy to know. I want to be truthful and honest and trusted in my friendships here, and I feel that if I don’t share much I won’t keep friends and people could suspect that I’m strange or hiding myself and pretending to be someone I’m not. I tend to say too much, perhaps, and too early, but I’ve always been someone who doesn’t like losing people.
Yea my advice is to dont share anything too specific. You can share little details to make getting to know eachother easier. For example i have told my first name, birthday and the area i live around so people can get to know you more. But when it comes to anything more specific you should not share it.
The warning appears when the site detects certain words that could be dangerous to your online safety.
You are a young lady and of course I understand that you wouldn’t want to be stalked or anything creepy. I would have different concerns, like being scammed (people on other sites have tried scamming me) or identity theft. It’s just having an idea of how much to share is not always easy to know. I want to be truthful and honest and trusted in my friendships here, and I feel that if I don’t share much I won’t keep friends and people could suspect that I’m strange or hiding myself and pretending to be someone I’m not. I tend to say too much, perhaps, and too early, but I’ve always been someone who doesn’t like losing people.
Yea my advice is to dont share anything too specific. You can share little details to make getting to know eachother easier. For example i have told my first name, birthday and the area i live around so people can get to know you more. But when it comes to anything more specific you should not share it.
Ok, thanks for sharing this info 👍☺️
The warning appears when the site detects certain words that could be dangerous to your online safety.
You can easily find out a scammer when you ask them for a simple voice message with just spelling the Name.
Scammers know they cannot pass this test, and find arguments like "microphone is dead" or something like that. Reason is, that usually the voice and accent doesnt fit to the person they say they are
You are a young lady and of course I understand that you wouldn’t want to be stalked or anything creepy. I would have different concerns, like being scammed (people on other sites have tried scamming me) or identity theft. It’s just having an idea of how much to share is not always easy to know. I want to be truthful and honest and trusted in my friendships here, and I feel that if I don’t share much I won’t keep friends and people could suspect that I’m strange or hiding myself and pretending to be someone I’m not. I tend to say too much, perhaps, and too early, but I’ve always been someone who doesn’t like losing people.
@LateLearner Steve, true friends will always talk to you regardless of whether you share a lot or a little information with them. I only share a lot of information with people I click with. Mayuuraam, Yue, you, Simone, and Sabri, if people don't share anything, neither do I. But you are a friendly, respectable man.
LateLearner, you are in target group of top interest for romance scammers - retired white man from G7 country. I assume you get a lot messages from accounts which represent themselves as Asian females young enough to be your daughters (they are mostly persons kidnapped by Triad, forced to steal from people and detained in mafia bases in Golden Triangle area). I think it's not wise to share any personal info anywhere online such as personal photos, real name, location, birthday... Everything can be used for identity theft.
Beside romance scammers, there are also scammers mostly from West Africa but they don't discriminate too much - they target everyone, but their main focus are Europe, USA, Canada, Australia and New Zealand. If we form our opinion based on their accounts and their fake stories, it seems that whenever families in Africa welcome their 10th children, fathers die and mothers get sick, while children don't eat anything for a few years. When you think about that, it's very disgusting seeing them using manipulation and lies to extract money while there are people who are really in those situations and need help. Same with people who pretends to be Palestinians and wants money to be transferred via for example Western Union.
The third group are Indians with their technical support scams and investment scammers (all across the globe).
Before I get attacked by 'politically correct' people, I want to say that I agree scammers can be from any part of the world, but based on my observations they are mostly from these areas, at least on online platforms. Not all people from these areas are scammers, but sadly most of then who are online are scammers.
All of these groups are racists and psychopats with zero empathy - they don't see white people as persons, they see us as ATMs. Don't send money to anybody online. If you want to help people you can always give money to various charities such as Mary's meals, Caritas, etc.
Personally, much bigger concern for me are minors online and potential threat of paedophilia. It has been already discussed (and downplayed) on a forum started by Follower of Christ, so I won't get much into that issue here. I would advise to minors what I've already said in the first paragraph with addition to tell your parents about everybody with whom you talk online without exception. This is especially relevant for Yue - Asian teenage girl living in a country where paedophilia is relatively accepted (check the facts before attacking me), especially if we keep in mind that a lot of (older) white people suffer from 'yellow fever'.
Last but not least, don't hate these people, hate their behaviour. Also do everything you can to stop them. If you are religious, pray for them, for their victims, for police to catch them as soon as possible and for judges to give them appropriate penalties.
Thanks, some sensible advice here. Yes, I’ve been approached by many romance scammers, and some African ones, but I haven’t given anything away or put myself at risk, I don’t think. I have met a few odd personalities on here, whose stories don’t add up or their language is not what you would expect from someone who is really that age and living in that country. I must remember not to share personal photos and important dates with people I don’t know and shouldn’t trust, definitely. 👍
Hi everyone, I am curious about the red warning bar which appears sometimes when you are sending messages to people. It’s tempting to tell people about yourself and where you live when you are trying to make friends, but what should you definitely not say? I have been contacted by people who want to talk, or perhaps improve their English, but they disappear after a message or two. Maybe it’s just that I’m old and boring lol! But is there something sinister going on that they are trying to find things out about you for fraudulent purposes? (Of course I don’t give out my address or insurance number or even phone number but I share pictures and talk about my life) I can understand the reason for a warning if it’s a new member, but there isn’t a warning with all of them, and yet there is sometimes with a few people I have known for months and have grown to trust.
It's different for everyone. In your case, as well as mine, I look for the following....
Super model hot, young and consistently di*k rides (ingratiating behavior). In other words, if this kind of person won't give you the time of day in real life, then they won't online either.
No profile photo or one profile photo and their other photos in their album is... their profile photo.
Certain idiosyncratic ways of speaking... for example, they claim to be in the US and yet use personal descriptives like "am" instead of "I'm or Ima." Keep in mind that scammers are trying to get around these questions by claiming they are from another country but living in the US.
Usually has some kind of job that makes it difficult for them to video chat. Use logic on this. Those of us in the special operations community wouldn't be using Facebook during sensitive missions.
As far as info. I don't share my last name. My birthday or any other personal info that could establish identity. I don't give out my phone number (i use telegram) and anyone who wants to move to that mode of communications must provide me.a photo AND be willing to SFW video chat once we connect on TG. No exceptions.
You can easily find out a scammer when you ask them for a simple voice message with just spelling the Name.
Scammers know they cannot pass this test, and find arguments like "microphone is dead" or something like that. Reason is, that usually the voice and accent doesnt fit to the person they say they are
AI is making this harder to detect. This is why I use video chat to verify. There are ways to "throw' AI generated video bots.
I deliberately don't share a profile picture of myself because in the past, when I did, I attracted the wrong people who proposed to me and asked for money. Fortunately, that doesn't happen anymore, only now and then.
It’s a shame that we have to do that kind of thing, but yes, we are in target groups as Korisnik said. I read that divorced and widowed ladies from north European countries looking for friendship and perhaps nothing more, are heavily targeted and regularly scammed out of money. I believe they said that common sense and intelligence often get ignored when a man pretending to love them asks to borrow money for whatever reason. Of course, some are too embarrassed to admit their losses or report them as crimes.
Thank u very much @Korisnik that u wrote the warning and i wanted to tell something even if it is stupid maybe what happened. I one time got an argument with my parents because what happened and that i almost had to stop on PPG!!!! That is i think now almost two years ago and it did NOTTT happen again.
Some people who are here longer maybe already know it but i did not tell it more often. But now i want to tell it because maybe it helps everybody. So i chatted with someone for i think maybe 5 months or longer almost every day and that was super nice and friendly. But he also said he wanted to meet in that summer and he said it often so i thought maybe if you say no than it is also weird if u are friends from chatting for so long!!! And then maybe u dont chat anymore or it feels super cringe and awkward. 😬😬😬🙄 So i did not know how to react that u disappoint maybe that person so i just said yes. But later one of my friends asked about it because he was also chatting with somebody else and that was not nice how he chatted with her and he also said he wanted to meet to her. So she asked me about it and i told her and she said i had to block him immediately. So i did that and later the person got banned. ❌❌
And my parents said i was the one that made the mistake because you said yes and that is really stupid. But now i have rules what u can do with chatting and posting on forum. And also i speak often with my mom about what i chat or she asks about that. But not my dad because i dont want that because then he says that i must maybe stop PPG if he thinks that is better and i dont want that. So my mom does ask for example if people ask things and then i just tell her and that i do not give for example things about our home or personal things or that u meet and they dont know it EVENNNN if they are friends for long time and that is really important i think. And i think if they allow that u meet REALLYY good friends then they want to know it first and i think that my parents dont allow that without them being there too EVEN if u know that person really good.
But often in real life it happens more often that things happen from strangers. Like for example when we were this weekend at the mini lake we were dropped with the car by the dad of my friend and we were asked by strangers if we needed to be brought back home for example and u dont even know them. And in that case we are of course not stupid and we just said no. And things like that happen often that strangers say or ask things but you must just say no. BUTTTT i think it is a good tip that you say no in polite and nice way or they get maybe angry and in that case it is ALSOO dangerous so it is better to be polite but that u DONT say yes.
Sorry that i typed a lot but i wanted to explain it. And i also wanted to say that i never got money scam from anybody. But that would also not be very smart because i dont have a lot of money!!!!!!!!! 😛 😛 But other things that they want to know yes but u must be super careful and i think the tips from above like that u dont mention hometown and things like that are important.
I deliberately don't share a profile picture of myself because in the past, when I did, I attracted the wrong people who proposed to me and asked for money. Fortunately, that doesn't happen anymore, only now and then.
On one other penpal site once I got an opener 'Hello handsome' despite not having my personal photos😂
It’s a shame that we have to do that kind of thing, but yes, we are in target groups as Korisnik said. I read that divorced and widowed ladies from north European countries looking for friendship and perhaps nothing more, are heavily targeted and regularly scammed out of money. I believe they said that common sense and intelligence often get ignored when a man pretending to love them asks to borrow money for whatever reason. Of course, some are too embarrassed to admit their losses or report them as crimes.
There is a Chinese manual for scammers which tell them that woman in love can't think properly when she is in love and they give them detailed instructions based on character and age how to talk with them. That's why they all bombard people with generic questions about name, age, country, job, family members,... I think I can imagine how old and lonely people in Western countries feel and I understand they are sometimes desperate for attention, that's why they get tunnel vision and ignore red signs, combined with the fact they are usually less than average informed about internet. It's important to encourage them to report frauds and to understand they shouldn't be ashamed because it can happen to anybody.
Certain idiosyncratic ways of speaking... for example, they claim to be in the US and yet use personal descriptives like "am" instead of "I'm or Ima." Keep in mind that scammers are trying to get around these questions by claiming they are from another country but living in the US.
Usually has some kind of job that makes it difficult for them to video chat. Use logic on this. Those of us in the special operations community wouldn't be using Facebook during sensitive missions.
a photo AND be willing to SFW video chat once we connect on TG. No exceptions.
It's hilarious when they get offended when you confront them - 'Am real OK?'. If am real then pm fake hahahahah. They can have previously recorded deep fake video or stolen as well as photos. They usually claim to work as are usually some jobs which you can do remotely (that's their main fetish) such as software developers, data analysts, graphic designers or some other jobs such as company drives or some hard manual job. Some of them even claim to be unemployed. Their another fetish are blonde women, they often use their photos.
I have met a few odd personalities on here, whose stories don’t add up or their language is not what you would expect from someone who is really that age and living in that country.
My all time favourite is Gambian who listed that he speaks Spanish as native, English, Azerbaijani and Tibetan fluently.