It's becoming more and more common in this world that people want to decide about their own death.
I am now experiencing this very close. My boy with long-term depression and the mental care that does nothing more than minimal effort .
What is your opinion about this topic.
I think it's a hard topic. I'll have to think about it and I'll come back to it later.
I am really sorry to hear about that and i dont understand why doctors and other experts are not helping him more.
We also discussed the topic in the true and false forum but there are a LOTTT of different statements that we discuss there. About the topic you asked about you can find it here: https://penpal-gate.net/forum/13-anything-and-everything/9742-true-or-false/20 (but you have to scroll down to half the page) with replies of several persons like @Etienne, @martutuni, @diogenes_cask and others and also the response of @Lianshen on the next page: https://penpal-gate.net/forum/13-anything-and-everything/9742-true-or-false/21
I add the links bc maybe you want to read what others wrote. But i hope that people write in this forum with maybe thoughts or what they believe and NOT in the True or False forum. Because i think it belongs here now so it supports YOU and i hope it can support YOUR SON.
If we can do ANYTHING for you or your son just say it and maybe there is smt that we can do. 🙏🙏
🌸🌼🌻 for you both from Yue 🍀🍀🍀✨✨✨
Im very pro (im also very pro if the case is a young person with mental suffering)
I too am absolutely heartbroken by your situation and your son's. A choice like this should not be in the hands of the internet. So please, I hope you all can come to some resolution... But it really shouldn't be based on what people say here. It should be about what is best for your son and your family....
My personal feeling is, first everything medical and non medical must be tried to alleviate the suffering.
If it doesn't help and it is an adult, then is it anyone's choice to make but theirs? But this is a choice I would encourage them to take some serious time with and really not to rush into.
I believe, mental suffering can be as real as physical suffering. I have experienced it myself at times. Some things we still don't have the power to correct. I wish we did. Hopefully one day we will.
My thought would be.... Maybe give him a purpose rather than happiness? Sometimes people find their happiness in purpose? Perhaps he could be part of clinical trials with the understanding that a day will come when he is done with life and that you will have to let him go, but perhaps for a while, he would be willing to loan his brain to science so that even if they can't fix it for him perhaps some other family can have what yours maybe can't have. Perhaps, just maybe, something under study can help him. Perhaps not. Perhaps helping other people who suffer like him can have enough meaning for him. Perhaps not..... I hope it can.
I think, I have a parent who is starting dementia. One of the hardest things that ever happened was the day we went out to eat and he sat there telling me about how he planned to shoot himself in the head when it became undignified to keep living for him. I am going to respect his choice. But there is one condition..... If he ever says that shit to my little sister he will die weather dignified enough to live or not. I will do it myself, and I won't need or use a weapon, I have fingernails. That kid doesn't need to hear that. Bad enough he is telling me. She is one of those people who has never known adversity and has never really achieved adulthood. So, he can tell me all he wants about what he plans to do. I am at least a grown up. But he had better never destroy her by talking about it to her.
I know it seems wrong when a child goes before the parent. It feels unnatural, and maybe it is.... But depression is a naturally occurring thing so maybe it is perfectly natural even if terrible? Either way, my heart breaks for your family and your son.
It must be very hard to walk around in a world where no one understands your internal suffering. Another way to help future people like him, might be to write a book about his experience? Maybe again that purpose to help others who come after can be enough once again? But I think if he is an adult, it is his decision to make..... I hope he chooses to help others and live a long life and find satisfaction in a purpose if he can not find happiness in life. I hope if he does this thing, that it brings him peace, and that you and your family can in time find healing. I am so so so sorry.....
Wishing you and your son the best of luck navigating this difficult circumstance.
Remember whatever I think, I am just the internet. This is something your family and your son must work out and figure out.
@Libra1961 I`m sorry to hear what your family is going through. May I ask what kind of mental care he is getting? Was there a direct cause for his depression or is he genetically predisposed?
What makes you ask the question if I may ask? Depression doesn`t necessarily mean one intends to end ones own life, but being the father you will surely have a reason for asking.
At a young age, a classmate of mine took his life. We were out a few days before that and none of us saw it coming. I think if a person is dedicated to ending their life, there is little you can do against it. I myself have been in therapy, and even if therapy didn`t help in any lasting way, it was always great to have that space to freely express ones thoughts.
He has had all cognitive therapies in his entire life and is now waiting for permission for rtms.
(Machinic brain manipulation) Manic depression was recently diagnosed but he has been suffering from this for over 22 years.
Since the beginning of 2024 he has to wait 6 months before he was treated, in which case I exclude the 2-week crisis care.
I suspect, to the extent that it is possible, that I am the genetic source because I have also been in therapy.
I also share your statement about determination, but I hope that there will be a spark of hope for him somewhere.
I'm asking the question here because it allows me to get opinions outside my usual circle of acquaintances.
The problem is that no one can see it, because he has managed to build a steel mask for those 22 years.
It's becoming more and more common in this world that people want to decide about their own death.
I am now experiencing this very close. My boy with long-term depression and the mental care that does nothing more than minimal effort .
What is your opinion about this topic.
I think no one really knows what someone else is going through. I'm very sorry for what you and your son are going through. I think he's incredibly strong for going through it for 22 years and still not giving up, even tho he thinks about it now. I don't think I could go through that for so long.
I still find it a very hard topic, because on the one side I would defenitely want to say people should take a decision over their own life; they're the ones living it. If you don't see any light at the end of the tunnel anymore, no one should force you to go through an immense amount of pain and suffering simply for the reason one should not have to take their own life and "it should have to get better".
Though, others see things you can't see. Maybe when you're locked up in your own feelings and thoughts, others see ways to help you you can't see anymore. Maybe with a lot of care, attention and help, people could overcome their mental challenges. But still, the person with the mental challenge need to be willing and able to move forward. If they're not able or willing to do that anymore, no one should force them to do so.
I hope your son finds light and peace, and finds a way of living that suits him and brings him happiness and purpose. I wish you the best as well, as I understand people in the surroundings suffer as well. 🙏❤
