Why do we do this?

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Hey all,
I've really done some thinking and decided i would ask my online family (aka ppg) their thoughts on this.

Why has it become a social norm to judge and talk down to people? I constantly see people at my school talking down to substitutes that are elderly and kids with special needs. It has also been normalized to treat others with disrespect based on the way they look, the things they believe in, the clothes and things they own.

Why?

Why canΒ΄t we all just be nice to each other, you donΒ΄t have to like someone, but why do you have to be unkind to them??

@Yue_

Modificato da elizabethtay836 .

I've thought a lot about that too.

I think that being nice is seen as a weakness.

Being evil and an arsehole is cool.

Maybe the wrong role models?

Stitchyyyy!!! This is a super good forum!! πŸ†πŸ₯‡ I think you are right that a LOTTT of people judge often and about EVERYTHING. πŸ˜΅β€πŸ’«πŸ˜΅β€πŸ’« I think it is because if somebody judges then maybe people look a bit afraid to that person so they will also judge others to be the same. BUTTTT it is stupid and it is NOTTT cool or make the person strong.


In my friends group we dont do that EVEN if others do it to us. And if you just dont say anything they get BORED about it so that is the best. UNLESS you want to get in a bully battle but i dont want it and i would loose it. So that is not smart anyway. Just ignore it and i think that is the best for you. And if you do that maybe your friends also ignore it.


So for example if i am on a bike and somebody shouts a racist thing i just pretend that i dont hear it and just keep biking. If you stop i know you can get in problems. So it is better not to try to get back at that and argue and i also DONT WANT to do that. EVEN if that is weak or they think it is weak. πŸ™„πŸ™„


I think talking down on others says a lot about your insecurities.

After all, what we find unbearable in others is usually what we cannot stand from ourselves! Like a mirror. One is actualy talking down on themselves.

Stitchyyyy!!! This is a super good forum!! πŸ†πŸ₯‡ I think you are right that a LOTTT of people judge often and about EVERYTHING. πŸ˜΅β€πŸ’«πŸ˜΅β€πŸ’« I think it is because if somebody judges then maybe people look a bit afraid to that person so they will also judge others to be the same. BUTTTT it is stupid and it is NOTTT cool or make the person strong.


In my friends group we dont do that EVEN if others do it to us. And if you just dont say anything they get BORED about it so that is the best. UNLESS you want to get in a bully battle but i dont want it and i would loose it. So that is not smart anyway. Just ignore it and i think that is the best for you. And if you do that maybe your friends also ignore it.


So for example if i am on a bike and somebody shouts a racist thing i just pretend that i dont hear it and just keep biking. If you stop i know you can get in problems. So it is better not to try to get back at that and argue and i also DONT WANT to do that. EVEN if that is weak or they think it is weak. πŸ™„πŸ™„


people think making racist jokes is cute, but every color is beautiful!

Sooo I suspect it has an evolutionary purpose, this distaste for the other. Like the appendix, it has out lived it's usefulness. Perhaps long ago, that otherness truly was a threat between groups of early homo species....

I don't know why it is still a thing today. I have experienced it myself. As a woman, I run into it regularly on the internet. Often when I dare to disagree with a man who says something incredibly stupid. Or when I dare to have a personal opinion of my own that doesn't match that of some man or other. They get all upset and condescend and mansplain. It really is not a good look on them. I hope they know that.

Sooo I suspect it has an evolutionary purpose, this distaste for the other. Like the appendix, it has out lived it's usefulness. Perhaps long ago, that otherness truly was a threat between groups of early homo species....

I don't know why it is still a thing today. I have experienced it myself. As a woman, I run into it regularly on the internet. Often when I dare to disagree with a man who says something incredibly stupid. Or when I dare to have a personal opinion of my own that doesn't match that of some man or other. They get all upset and condescend and mansplain. It really is not a good look on them. I hope they know that.

But here i think everybody is more kind normally so if there is a discussion on the forum most people are respectul. For example in the true or false forum there are statements and sometimes people dont agree with each other. But everybody can say what they want and everybody respects that. So i hope that maybe you also feel that way here if everybody talks about things on the forum. πŸ™‚


And Stitchyyy @elizabethtay836 is it now better in your school bc you have a new friend too and he can defend you right if people bully and judge about a lot of things.


I am new here. So I haven't run into it here yet and I hope I don't. But no I am not bothered by disagreement. I am bothered by being mansplained to. There is a lot of real estate between the 2. So far the few people here I have spoken to (very few) have been very nice actually. I have not been yet to the true or false forum. It sounds interesting. I am all for free speech, people should be able to say what they want. I also try to give and to receive common courtesy and respect. I was merely discussing my own experience with human beings being otherwise in the past.

i too hope things have gotten better for Stitchyyyy.

But here i think everybody is more kind normally so if there is a discussion on the forum most people are respectul. For example in the true or false forum there are statements and sometimes people dont agree with each other. But everybody can say what they want and everybody respects that. So i hope that maybe you also feel that way here if everybody talks about things on the forum. πŸ™‚


And Stitchyyy @elizabethtay836 is it now better in your school bc you have a new friend too and he can defend you right if people bully and judge about a lot of things.


I am new here. So I haven't run into it here yet and I hope I don't. But no I am not bothered by disagreement. I am bothered by being mansplained to. There is a lot of real estate between the 2. So far the few people here I have spoken to (very few) have been very nice actually. I have not been yet to the true or false forum. It sounds interesting. I am all for free speech, people should be able to say what they want. I also try to give and to receive common courtesy and respect. I was merely discussing my own experience with human beings being otherwise in the past.

i too hope things have gotten better for Stitchyyyy.

Oh ok it is nice that here you like it!! I dont understand what you mean with the real estate and mansplained. πŸ™„πŸ™„ But i try to find out later online what you mean. πŸ™‚ And if you are a new member it is nice that you are on the forum! I made a forum for new members here: New Members Forum and maybe you like it. In the first post of that forum i have a super big overview of nice forums from the past about a LOTTT of topics. So i hope that maybe you like it and that it is perhaps useful. 😊😊


And Stitchyyy is @elizabethtay836 who made this forum but we gave her that name because of the Disney forum. πŸ˜› But i dont know if you like that forum too but I think it is funny. πŸ˜ƒ


Have a nice evening!!!!! 🌈🌞🌈

I will repond this question later @elizabethtay836 really nice forum

Oh ok it is nice that here you like it!! I dont understand what you mean with the real estate and mansplained. πŸ™„πŸ™„ But i try to find out later online what you mean. πŸ™‚ And if you are a new member it is nice that you are on the forum! I made a forum for new members here: New Members Forum and maybe you like it. In the first post of that forum i have a super big overview of nice forums from the past about a LOTTT of topics. So i hope that maybe you like it and that it is perhaps useful. 😊😊


And Stitchyyy is @elizabethtay836 who made this forum but we gave her that name because of the Disney forum. πŸ˜› But i dont know if you like that forum too but I think it is funny. πŸ˜ƒ


Have a nice evening!!!!! 🌈🌞🌈

Real estate, implies distance, or space. It is a colloquialism here in the US some use sometimes. To say that there is a great deal of real estate is to say there is a great deal of space, enough for whole neighborhoods of homes to purchase located between the 2 points being discussed, for example, everyone speaking freely and permitted disagreement and disrespectful speech. πŸ™‚

Mansplaining, is something I hope your generation never experiences. It is when men speak down to women often on the internet and give us a lecture as if we were children because they don't like our opinion and feel it should match theirs.

Thank you for the forum invite I will try to check it out at some point soon.

As for Disney.... I am a bit old for Disney. I am sure it is a cute forum though and very funny, and full of nice conversation and lots of Disney that many people are very into. πŸ™‚

I must recall some quote from Kamand Kojouri: "Some people are in such utter darkness that they will burn you just to see a light. Try not to take it personally."

I must recall some quote from Kamand Kojouri: "Some people are in such utter darkness that they will burn you just to see a light. Try not to take it personally."

That's a good quote and leaves room for thought. I think it's interesting and true.

Real estate, implies distance, or space. It is a colloquialism here in the US some use sometimes. To say that there is a great deal of real estate is to say there is a great deal of space, enough for whole neighborhoods of homes to purchase located between the 2 points being discussed, for example, everyone speaking freely and permitted disagreement and disrespectful speech. πŸ™‚

Mansplaining, is something I hope your generation never experiences. It is when men speak down to women often on the internet and give us a lecture as if we were children because they don't like our opinion and feel it should match theirs.

Thank you for the forum invite I will try to check it out at some point soon.

As for Disney.... I am a bit old for Disney. I am sure it is a cute forum though and very funny, and full of nice conversation and lots of Disney that many people are very into. πŸ™‚

Thank you very much for explaining it!!! πŸ™‚ I thought about looking the meaning online later but it is now super clear. BUTTT in the beginning when we have discussions for example i feel i can say anything what i think and even if it is stupid or maybe wrong bc other people know more about it they are respectful and super patient. And i try to read what everybody writes like for example when @diogenes_cask writes like above or when we have discussions about statements with @Etienne and @Lianshen and they are patient to explain a lot of things. And the same is of other guys like @Pennarossa2024, @Simone724 and @Sabri_KC. And i think most people here are like that. Only sometimes it can be a stressy discussion if it is about political forums. So i try not to be in those forums!!! πŸ˜› But it can also be ok. πŸ™‚

I think it depends a lot on the upbringing. I teach my children not to stare but to nod hello to people with a different skin color or people with a disability or handicap. I teach them not to laugh at these people because they are the same as us. They have the same feelings. I also teach them not to laugh if someone is thin, tall, short, black, poor, fat or whatever. So I am very happy when I see my son helping an elderly lady cross the street. My daughter helps a classmate in a wheelchair and my youngest waves to a colored lady because we are all unique how beautiful is that

I will repond this question later @elizabethtay836 really nice forum

okay! take your time!

I guess it always has been a thing, somehow. To put it bluntly, difference is scary and pointing it out as a common ennemy is a very nice way to strenghten social bond.
It has very powerful effects in this regard that can be traced back to our evolutionary history, although obvious inconvenience, especially in modern eras... not even talking about the amount of stress the victims have to endure.


I don't understand why you would feel troubled by the political forums. You are young. You didn't ask me but I will give you my 2 cents (which means my thoughts) on the matter anyway. Politics.... Is fraught. Because it is built on the past. To understand it, requires understanding history. weather you participate or not I would encourage you to read the political forums. Because one day, the decisions that get made will be made by you. You have the opportunity to study and learn about the current choices being made in that forum from the current people making them. You can watch and question history in real time. This is something perhaps no other generation has had the ability to do to the same extent and in the same way. One day, to not end up like the current USA, you will have to make the best decisions you can. Understanding how choices were arrived at in the past or in this current moment before it even becomes history can be amazingly useful to that end.

The internet was in it's infancy when I was a little older than you. I never got to ask why people make the choices they made and created the world that they created that I had to live in and later make choices about. This fact is a huge piece of what makes your generation special and more able to create a better world than all of the generations that came before you. What a shame to feel stressed rather than curious. Perhaps now isn't the right time to have opinions, that is of course for you to decide though. Perhaps it is the time to participate through inquiry seeking understanding of the choices and views presently about. Then follow them through to their gradual philosophical conclusions and consider how you feel about them. Do you agree? To what extent? Why? The thing to keep in mind.... Is that even adults are just muddling through life same as children. The only differences are we can think around corners about consequences, and we pay taxes, and we have explored with curiosity already. But there is no end to where curiosity can take any of us. So there is always more exploration to do. Still having done some, we have noticed some patterns. The only other difference is that as adults, having had that, we are responsible for the decisions we make. But responsible to who? The answer to that question I have always felt is to greater society, but also to the future who we are presently building a world for based on the choices we make right now. So, honestly youth input on these issues and questions seem to me to be highly pertinent and their engagement seems something that would do us all good.

A woman named Abi Andrews, wrote a book. It is a favorite of mine. Some people love it others hate it. It maybe isn't something that is quite age appropriate yet. But in a few years it will be. It is on the issue of feminism, where feminism meets environmentalism. It is called The Word For Woman Is Wilderness. It discusses some major pieces of the history of science how we know what we know about the world and the universe, it tests boundaries both internal and external, and at times moral, spiritual, and what it is to be a woman in the world we live in. It explores environmentalism and feminism, and a wide array of view points on where we are now in the world we have built for ourselves. You are still a bit young for this but I gave you the title anyway. I am hoping you write it down, and put it in a time capsule, along with a personal letter to yourself about how you view life and the world and yourself as you are today, that you can then bury in your back yard and dig up when you are about 17 or 18. Because I think that will be amazingly interesting for you, and because this book may hold some serious value to you when you are ready for it. In some respects, the book is highly political. But as you get older, you will understand so much is decided by politics. So many limitations we set. So many freedoms we give...... Understanding who is deciding these things today and the decisions they are making and what they base those choices on is critical to learning to make such decisions yourself one day. And one day, there will be no one but you and others in your age bracket left to make them.

Thank you very much for explaining it!!! πŸ™‚ I thought about looking the meaning online later but it is now super clear. BUTTT in the beginning when we have discussions for example i feel i can say anything what i think and even if it is stupid or maybe wrong bc other people know more about it they are respectful and super patient. And i try to read what everybody writes like for example when @diogenes_cask writes like above or when we have discussions about statements with @Etienne and @Lianshen and they are patient to explain a lot of things. And the same is of other guys like @Pennarossa2024, @Simone724 and @Sabri_KC. And i think most people here are like that. Only sometimes it can be a stressy discussion if it is about political forums. So i try not to be in those forums!!! πŸ˜› But it can also be ok. πŸ™‚