Lutheran here. Everyone Interprets religion and god in theyr own way like for example protestant religions in a more wider scale and humans as individuals. There are many opinions regarding your question. Some belive that the identity itself is not a sin but the act is and some belive that we were told to love eachother and there should be no exceptions and many more opinions. Its your choice on witch one of those you choose to belive. And remember. Nobody can tell you how to belive in god not a priest not your parents or your friends. Religion is ment to be about you and your relationship in god.
To add on to this, we are spirits living the human experience inside a fleshy body.
Nowhere in the Bible did God say a religion is to be started but God emphasized on the relationship we are to have with Him. Jesus said to follow Him. There was a young rich man who asked Jesus what is required for him to enter the kingdom of heaven, Jesus said for him to give away his riches. That young man walked away sad. OP here struggling with the same way because instead of money, it's attraction for another woman like herself.
Remember, Jesus did not chase that young man and tried to convince him to give up on his riches, literally making it clear to us that He has done everything and now it's up to us whether we choose how we spend eternity. For those who don't know or haven't read the Bible, many of the people who claim to be Christians will end up in hell for the simple fact that they didn't have a relationship with Jesus, they didn't obey Jesus. If you love your parents, you'd obey them. You'd honor your parents by doing things without being asked and you do so out of love.
The Bible tells us that no matter the sin, we NEED to come to Christ so that He can change us. If you think you don't need Jesus in order to be a "good" person, congratulations, you've just stated that you know more than God, using different words.
Lucifer doesn't care if you have good morals, all he cares about is that you reject Jesus so that you suffer the same punishment that awaits him. He wants this for you because he knows how much Jesus loves you and thus the amount of pain it will cause Jesus to see, judge and condemn someone He claimed to be His child yet that person refused that title. 🤷
I say again, Jesus won't force you into His kingdom.
