I've been seeing racist comments on Penpal Gate lately, on the forum. Stupid jokes about black people and concentration camps. @Etienne, do you think these comments are appropriate for Penpal Gate? If these comments are appropriate, then this site isn't for me.
And now you know why I had my big arguments with Chinese people here.
They deleted their comments soon after it
I'm responding to Mare and Yue. I believe that in 2026, offensive comments should not be made to black people, Jews, Muslims, Christians, or homosexuals. I am against any form of homophobia. However, I neither support nor approve of LGBT theories and ideologies. I believe that everyone is free to love who they want or have sexual relations with who they want. I believe that everyone can change their mind and even change their gender. I don't believe in labels and categories. This is my opinion, which probably differs from Yue's. However, we live in a democracy and everyone can freely express their ideas. Ideas, not insults, not stupid jokes. ,As for 🤮that Yue used for Mare, I wish Yue had been strict with other people who did more serious things than Mare did.
I'm responding to Mare and Yue. I believe that in 2026, offensive comments should not be made to black people, Jews, Muslims, Christians, or homosexuals. I am against any form of homophobia. However, I neither support nor approve of LGBT theories and ideologies. I believe that everyone is free to love who they want or have sexual relations with who they want. I believe that everyone can change their mind and even change their gender. I don't believe in labels and categories. This is my opinion, which probably differs from Yue's. However, we live in a democracy and everyone can freely express their ideas. Ideas, not insults, not stupid jokes. ,As for 🤮that Yue used for Mare, I wish Yue had been strict with other people who did more serious things than Mare did.
I have seen all the comments in that forum ALSOOO the ones that were deleted of two persons but one is no longer i think on PPG. One of the many disgusting comments in that forum was a joke about to rope around people from that community and that was a joke about to hang them. Both the person who wrote it ANDD the person who liked it deserve in my opinion 🤮 and this is specially because at that time there were multiple people of that community in that forum at THAT moment. I think it is disgusting and there is NO excuse. Or do you disagree with that???? It is not any different just because it somebody you like. It is about what people DO in my opinion and NOTTT who it is.
If u dont believe me maybe Etienne can get all the deleted comments from that forum back. And it was NOT the only comment made like that in that forum. Yesterday and the day before and also earlier forums of OTHERS were attacked by the same person and people called idiots for absolute stupid and dumb reasons. Again he deleted most comments later. But STILL they were made. And that DID hurt other people and NO i dont there is an excuse. In one case a person was attacked that u know should NOT be attacked and normally u defend her but not yesterday. And another time it was an interview of somebody who was really excited to say what he wanted about plans he had and almost immediately his interview was trolled so that he wanted to stop. But i am happy he did continue after talking about it and he got support from others. LIKE what happened yesterday. True the LGBTQ+ forum was stopped because the maker did not like how it went. Of course what did he expect?? And then being super surprised people keep blocking him and NOOO of course they dont have to tell first the reason and like ask for permission to block. That is crazy.
If u are on PPG I think that people can have different opinions but they should at least BEHAVE and nobody should act as racist or bigot and if they do there is NO excuse. I said that before and i will always say that. Also nobody shouuld troll with hateful comments on forums of others like what happened yesterday and the day before and earlier. That is super selfish and again i think NO excuse. I will not react more about it but it is NOT JUST the comment in this forum. There was a LOTTT more than that what happened before. With racism it is for me a super sensitive topic as u know and it doesnt matter if it is directly against me or against friends or against anybody. It is the same. ALSO for your friend who is NOTTTT my friend beause of that and other reasons.
And about the other person u meant (i dont mention names but u know who i mean): i told u that i did not read in that forum and i also told u why so i didnt check it. I am not going to check a forum if others warned that it makes me not comfortable only to check because other persons say it. Im sorry but if i dont feel comfortable i dont do that. And i said above what i think about people who just leave suddenly and dont even give a chance for friends to talk with them at all. But it happens often that if there is a forum and people dont like what is said and they dont have a reply they just shout something and leave. That is not right and it is not fair. But it is their choice.
Im sorry for writing all this and i didnt want to do that so that is why i first reacted only with emojis. But what u wrote as reaction was only partly of what really happened. So that is why i reply now but I dont want to do that anymore so anybody can write what they think but i prefer spend time on nicer things.
Christianity, Islam.. Judaism are religions, they are not a race. I don't understand why the left and the right seem to confound this. It's actually irritating.
The issue i have is this. When does criticism, sometimes heated, become bigotry? That's a subjective area. As I've mentioned in other forums, I've seen people banned simply for having an unpopular opinion about something.
Same goes for LGTBQ lifestyles and subjects. How people live their personal lives is their business, not mine, not any political party's, not any theological constructs. That's where I stand. Bob wants to be Boblina and be referred to as "she?" Fine, whatever, I don't give a shit. But on a personal level, Bob will always be a "he," as far as I'm concerned. Chromosomes don't lie.
TLDR: breathing room is important. If you don't like a post, you can always start your own forum and make your own rules.
Christianity, Islam.. Judaism are religions, they are not a race. I don't understand why the left and the right seem to confound this. It's actually irritating.
The issue i have is this. When does criticism, sometimes heated, become bigotry? That's a subjective area. As I've mentioned in other forums, I've seen people banned simply for having an unpopular opinion about something.
Same goes for LGTBQ lifestyles and subjects. How people live their personal lives is their business, not mine, not any political party's, not any theological constructs. That's where I stand. Bob wants to be Boblina and be referred to as "she?" Fine, whatever, I don't give a shit. But on a personal level, Bob will always be a "he," as far as I'm concerned. Chromosomes don't lie.
TLDR: breathing room is important. If you don't like a post, you can always start your own forum and make your own rules.
Sorry i mixed racism and discrimination. But i think what i meant is clear. And if anybody make jokes about hanging people with the only reason to hurt others who they KNOW are there in that forum at THAT moment: that is disgusting. And this forum is of PPG and not only of the maker of a forum. So they cant just open a forum and be a racist or bigot or discriminate JUST because they made that forum. At least that is what i think.
I normally don't get involved in such things. There are life choices I don't support, but there are people who don't understand my life choices either. But to laugh at or hate people because of that—no, that is a step too far. And these misunderstandings are suddenly being made more often here. Please come to an agreement and respect each other's choices.
Sorry i mixed racism and discrimination. But i think what i meant is clear. And if anybody make jokes about hanging people with the only reason to hurt others who they KNOW are there in that forum at THAT moment: that is disgusting. And this forum is of PPG and not only of the maker of a forum. So they cant just open a forum and be a racist or bigot or discriminate JUST because they made that forum. At least that is what i think.
Haha Yue...you wrote your post when i was writing mine .. it wasn't directed at you. Jusy an observation I continously see these days.
Haha Yue...you wrote your post when i was writing mine .. it wasn't directed at you. Jusy an observation I continously see these days.
It is ok @Based_Aura and i think maybe it it not important anymore about the confusion. I think that the people who hate me here have probably won but i am not sure yet but maybe they do this evening. I feel really empty and i dont know what will happen but that is not up to me now anymore. Im sorry that i dont write more now but i dont know what I have to write.
😁😆😆😆 allright. I am out of this woke ass communtity
I was really sad to find out you’d left without saying goodbye. I know you might have just needed a sudden break, but I really missed hearing from you, and I wish I had known the reason. Since you were active on Penpal Gate every day, I’m sure you’ll find yourself missing it and coming back eventually. This community is a great place, and the door is always open for you. There are ups and downs, and I know it can be tough sometimes, but please remember that you have true friends who care about you here.
I don’t know much about the issue of racism, to be honest. Japan has mostly been a society of Japanese people, and while more people from other countries are living here now, we still don't have many chances to truly get to know one another. I really wish we could have more cross-cultural exchanges. Instead of criticizing each other, I think it would be wonderful if we could deepen our understanding through things like traditions, music, art, and history. 🙂
A general discussion on behaviour deemed acceptable by the general population of this penpal site should always be beneficial and will naturally develop in the course of time - hopefully in a somewhat respectable and not in an agitated manner. Obviously, there will be divergent perspectives on this matter. It would be advisable not to impose one’s vision as a universal law of nature. Best way forward seems to be to award each other some space. Some additional prudence is warranted considering the large presence of minors on this site. Due consideration of each other’s sensitivities is gracious and appreciated.
The outer limits of permissible behaviour is governed by the terms of service of this website and any applicable law. @Etienne: I do have some suggestions to improve these terms from a legal perspective.
Two cents here of course: I don't see any problem with stupid and offensive jokes. neither do I see any with racist comments. For me, it looks like a very occidental sport to systematically get offended by what people can say on various ethnicities, religions or groups in general, because I haven't seen such strong boundaries elsewhere (might be a lack of experience though...).
More than that, as long as words don't translate to undesirable acts, I see no reason to bother much with it.
That being said, and like Etienne mentionned, he's not ok with it and I'm pretty sure he must moderate racist comments regardless of his opinion anyway, since France forbids them from what I understood; so simply report them.
Such nearly “anything goes” model could work for you, it may not work for others. True people seem to get increasingly offended. Flip side is that people increasingly seek the boundaries of borderline hate speech and discrimination in an incessant manner. There is a broad discretionary power conferred to the moderators of this website. When applying this power, due consideration should be given to the general demographic of this website - including the large presence of minors as from the age of 13. That is unusual for social media in current times and it should be reflected in moderation policies which may - and as said in my view: should - be more strict than in other cases where social media platforms have significantly raised the minimum age. I have used the report feature a few times to alert Etienne c.s. about highly offensive content and was delighted to see that occasionally action was taken. For some the publication of harmful content may be their main activity on this website - as appeared in certain cases - regardless of the presence of minors. There is an abundance of social media where they can find refuge. Freedom of speech is a valuable principle of international law. The freedom to design a website and set out certain rules of permissible behaviour is an extension of this “autonomy” - as applied by its creator. In my view, the current balance as applied on this penpal site seems to work relatively well.
Indeed, I'm well aware that I'm part of a minority, and a minority who spent way too much time on the internet during his teens especially. I would argue that it's easier to challenge and cross boundaries when those are small, just like it's shorter to go to another country from Belgium instead of, let's say, Nebraska. So are the people willingly getting more extreme, or are the boundaries easier to reach?
Granted that this website seems to have a particularly visible population of minors and that it might be better to have clearer rules. I admit that I'm also probably not sensitive enough, for I rarely noticed people for whom publishing harmful content was important.
I simply ask that people refrain from insulting others. It's basic common sense and common courtesy.
I've grown wary of the terms "racist" and "offensive", as they've become broad catch-all labels often weaponized to shut down discussion and undermine free speech. Question whether a country has taken in too many immigrants? You're a racist. Suggest that affirmative action is itself racist? Too bad, it's "good" racism, so you get the racist label anyway for even raising the issue.
For the record, I have no problem with dark humor and I deeply value freedom of speech. To me the line gets crossed when somebody repeatedly hammers the same provocative jokes in public, in a short span, in a way that borders harassment. It was never about not trying to be funny; it's about pushing a message under the guise of humor.
I've hardly ever seen major incidents in this community. Of course there will be the occasional new user looking for trouble, but I think most members are smart are well intentioned. I think too many rules is what eventually kills communities, too.
@Savi2024: What do you think should be done regarding minors? We all agree that they need protection, but I struggle to find the right balance between keeping them safe and unnecessarily sheltering them from the world.
Many thanks Etienne and Lianshen. I will attend to this matter this evening as I am about to guide a group of unruly classmates of my oldest daughter on their final part of the 4 days marches - an annual event for schoolchildren to walk 5 or 10 km per evening in search of a medal or insignia.
Part of the suggested approach can be found in your post which already sets boundaries beyond mandatory outer fringes imposed by law. Certain parts of your note can be interpreted in a number of ways - particularly by a non-bona fide reader. To be continued either in this chain or privately - I suggest the former for purposes of transparency.
Pacta sunt servanda: please find below some initial thoughts in response to your query @Etienne.
I have just reported your last comment - hopefully aborted just in time - to be reminded of current grounds to submit a complaint. Let’s discuss each in chronological order. I have assumed that each category is deemed qualifying to sanction behaviour - otherwise their inclusion in the list would be redundant.
1: Scam or fake profile - This ground seems obvious and requires no further comment.
2: Spam or advertising - Same.
3: Hate speech - Currently defined in the explanatory note as “Promoting violence and/or making threats”. Any disguised threats should also be within scope. Borderline cases may trigger nr. 5 below (inappropriate behaviour). A strict application seems prudent in a public area where particularly minors should feel safe.
4: Adult content - Currently described in the explanatory note as “Sharing explicit or pornographic material”. In a recent forum thread a long sequence of sexual innuendos and explicit references “took over” the general thread in which minors had contributed previously. A single slip of the pen or a single implicit comment should not immediately trigger sanctions, but continuous references of such nature are unwanted in an area where the presence of minors is prevalent.
5: Inappropriate behaviour - Currently labeled as “Persistent, intrusive messages despite explicit refusal”. This capita selecta category may include a variety of posts. You have mentioned above that people should refrain from insulting each other. Should this be interpreted as including both “grave insults” and “incessant insults”? This would seem reasonable to me. Not each single insult should warrant intervention. The severity and/or the repetitive nature may be a different story. See below on interpretation issues. Your idea regarding dark humor and provocative jokes seems to make sense. Generally permissible, but should refrain from e.g. disguised hate speech or have a repetitive nature to push a certain substantive agenda.
The above comments have been made with the protection of minors in mind. Considering that the forum feature is public, a less stringent set of rules concerning adults is redundant unless the site will cater for a secluded area for adults to exchange forum posts.
Also be mindful that social media age limitations are being or have been introduced in various countries across the globe. Many of such limitations are of a mandatory nature and non-compliance may invite sanctions to be applied.
As most cases mentioned above will be context driven and subject to interpretation of generic rules, the exercise of discretionary powers of moderators will often be decisive. To make intervention more palatable, I suggest to include an “Official Warning” as a means to intervene in borderline cases. A temporary or permanent ban may be imposed if the Official Warning is ignored. Upon an account being banned in severe cases - such as hate speech - I suggest to automatically delete all content of such user. No need to keep forum visitors exposed to content which triggered the ban.
Please note that the above already largely applies considering current grounds to file a report. Some further clarifications have been attempted when interpreting current rules.
Too complex for some? Not a problem as long as they follow common sense. When going out of bounds, an Official Warning may cushion the intervention before a ban of any nature is imposed.
I have conveniently ignored any outer limits imposed by law. The main concern should be the exercise of discretion considering the current demographic of this penpal site.
Happy to discuss further and open invitation for others to contribute - preferably in a constructive and respectable manner.
