Guys here everyone ask something which he/she thinks is bad but he/she doesn´t know if it is really bad!
I will start! Guys I have a cousin Em. I never knew her and I just have one memorie when we are playing with cewing gum thats it. I dont know her! She (i guess) doesn´t know me eather. And i feel like a asshole cause: She is 20 yro and wants to get married with a 45-50 yro man with 3 kids (in her ages) and which is not divorced. We all guess Em is pregnant with that man and my aunt; my mom; her mom; my other cousin Se are all thinking she got drugs from that man. Her mom and my uncle were divorced and yeah she is a lonely child ik ik. My mom and all the family exept me (and my sister but she never shows really emotions but noone is woundering)! I m saying that Em is a pice of $h!t and that I am not worried about her, cause for over 15 years she never visited ONE of us in the family NOT EVEN ONE TIME EVEN THOUGH SHE COULD (=> Me, My big brother and sister were never allowed to go to our grandparents place when we were kids without our mom but me and my big bro always ran away midnight, after we arrived from the airport, pretent to go pee in the garden toilet, jump from the gardent o the neighbours garden while noone was there, etc. BUT WE LOVED OUR GRANDPARENTS AND CO: SO WE VISITED THEM!)! She could visit us all but she never did even his dad she never did one tiime! She always just called his dad for money thats it! And now i m the only one in the family saying: I will no have Pity! I am right ig cause she never even tried to get contact with us! So it is ashaming of her not to ever having contacts with us and now her moom which also didnt let her to contact us wants help to get her daughter back home! IDK what to do guys should I have pity or not with her...?
It is difficult mulanyyy because on the one hand my grandparents and mom say that you ALWAYS have to forgive everyone. That way you feel most relief and you give like in buddhism a flower to the person that hurt you so you make an angry thing a good thing. It is a bit difficult to explain that. But my dad says that you should never have other persons make advantage of you and who dont care about you or even want to hurt you.
I understand both but I think I am more like my grandmother who was the most in saying always forgive the other person so that you can bring anybody who did bad back to the good. If that person means it seriously to come back to the good, you can help her to do that.
Sorry if it is unclear what i tried to explain! 😛 I wish you a lot of luck with it Esma-Nur!!!!! 🥰🥰🙏🙏 I think other people can maybe give better advice than me, but I just wanted to write what I think that is all. 🙂
I think we must always forgive. But it's not easy. It's very difficult. I also have relatives with whom I no longer have contact. They behaved badly but I don't hate them. I deleted them. They will never come to me for help. They didn't give me any help, not even a phone call. This cousin of yours is in a very difficult situation. I think we need to forgive and try to be better than these relatives. But I have a hard time forgiving. It's a serious flaw of mine.
I m saying that Em is a pice of $h!t and that I am not worried about her, cause for over 15 years she never visited ONE of us in the family NOT EVEN ONE TIME EVEN THOUGH SHE COULD
How does not visiting a cousin makes one a "piece of shit"? Also, how can you be so sure that she could? There are many things in life that can prevent someone to visit family.
I don't think the point is about pitying her, but about preventing her to fall deeper in a potential dead end. If she is drugged or under manipulated, then it's only decency not to let her fall lower than she already is, no matter if she is not a very good person or not.
It is difficult mulanyyy because on the one hand my grandparents and mom say that you ALWAYS have to forgive everyone. That way you feel most relief and you give like in buddhism a flower to the person that hurt you so you make an angry thing a good thing. It is a bit difficult to explain that. But my dad says that you should never have other persons make advantage of you and who dont care about you or even want to hurt you.
I understand both but I think I am more like my grandmother who was the most in saying always forgive the other person so that you can bring anybody who did bad back to the good. If that person means it seriously to come back to the good, you can help her to do that.
Sorry if it is unclear what i tried to explain! 😛 I wish you a lot of luck with it Esma-Nur!!!!! 🥰🥰🙏🙏 I think other people can maybe give better advice than me, but I just wanted to write what I think that is all. 🙂
Ur advice is good thx and in turkez we always say who forgoves is the person with a better soul but in this case i don't want to forgive cause i nver knew her
How does not visiting a cousin makes one a "piece of shit"? Also, how can you be so sure that she could? There are many things in life that can prevent someone to visit family.
I don't think the point is about pitying her, but about preventing her to fall deeper in a potential dead end. If she is drugged or under manipulated, then it's only decency not to let her fall lower than she already is, no matter if she is not a very good person or not.
1 st it is not legal in germany and turkey but she lives in turkey and idk the laws there... 🙁 2nd she is a pice of shit for me in that moment when i was angry sry ur right but i couldnt visit them too but i always gave my best to ran away eventhough my other grandpa naver gave us food or smthg when we wanted to go to them or when we came back to them
3rdif she is manipulated and all that stuff idk her idk ehat to so that is my point how should i pity someone or even help them when idk them... 🙁
I don't believe that you can forgive everyone for everything. That's not in our nature either. If the soul says that you can't feel pity, then that's the way it is. You have to trust your own feelings!
