Pause

A pity... I guess I am not made for internet anymore. People love discussions and are eager to confuse opinions with belittling others. And start attacking others. Social media already caused me a burn-out. So I will pause my entries on this forum.

A pity... I guess I am not made for internet anymore. People love discussions and are eager to confuse opinions with belittling others. And start attacking others. Social media already caused me a burn-out. So I will pause my entries on this forum.

Sad to hear that but i untherstand you 100%

A pity... I guess I am not made for internet anymore. People love discussions and are eager to confuse opinions with belittling others. And start attacking others. Social media already caused me a burn-out. So I will pause my entries on this forum.

I totally agree with you. I took a break from this site

A pity... I guess I am not made for internet anymore. People love discussions and are eager to confuse opinions with belittling others. And start attacking others. Social media already caused me a burn-out. So I will pause my entries on this forum.

I'm sorry to hear that, but I understand what you mean. It's a shame that people nowadays are so sensitive and see harm everywhere. I'm sure everyone would be happier if they made an effort to try to understand others' points of view and see the good side of things instead of taking everything as a personal attack without even thinking about it for a few seconds.

I hope the forum hasn't been too much of a bad experience for you, and I wish you the best with your future online interactions.

A pity... I guess I am not made for internet anymore. People love discussions and are eager to confuse opinions with belittling others. And start attacking others. Social media already caused me a burn-out. So I will pause my entries on this forum.

Its said to haear.... are you staying with PM's?

A pity... I guess I am not made for internet anymore. People love discussions and are eager to confuse opinions with belittling others. And start attacking others. Social media already caused me a burn-out. So I will pause my entries on this forum.

Indeed, social media works like a millstone. Such people might be annoying, I agree. But you shouldn't consider them as barriers for your expressive freedom, instead use them as hurdles for your intellectual race. Try to keep in mind that little people need to belittle. We are supposed to enjoy our journey, not to count and mind the milestones.

I have seen the exchange of messages in the forum thread on tattoos and piercings. The rather small altercation seems to be based on a misunderstanding which is blown out of proportion.

With free expression comes the ability to build a shield against getting offended too easily. This phenomenon works both ways. Please be mindful that a lot gets lost in written text. This applies a fortiori to the extent that parties communicate in a foreign language. Perhaps it is wise to give each other some additional space. A misunderstanding can be identified as such and resolved in a number of ways. The same applies to a quickly formulated response by someone who perhaps misunderstood and was offended.

Retreating from the forum feature is a valid option (particularly if old wounds from the past are felt). Other viable and often rather simple options also exist. Feel free to do whatever works best for you.

In any case, this mini conflict - not of a racial or similarly heavy nature - does not warrant anyone to be referred to as “little people”. A more respectful approach seems prudent (also taking into account the context in which a hastily drafted response may have been written by someone who considered herself to be in the line of fire).

I have seen the exchange of messages in the forum thread on tattoos and piercings. The rather small altercation seems to be based on a misunderstanding which is blown out of proportion.

With free expression comes the ability to build a shield against getting offended too easily. This phenomenon works both ways. Please be mindful that a lot gets lost in written text. This applies a fortiori to the extent that parties communicate in a foreign language. Perhaps it is wise to give each other some additional space. A misunderstanding can be identified as such and resolved in a number of ways. The same applies to a quickly formulated response by someone who perhaps misunderstood and was offended.

Retreating from the forum feature is a valid option (particularly if old wounds from the past are felt). Other viable and often rather simple options also exist. Feel free to do whatever works best for you.

In any case, this mini conflict - not of a racial or similarly heavy nature - does not warrant anyone to be referred to as “little people”. A more respectful approach seems prudent (also taking into account the context in which a hastily drafted response may have been written by someone who considered herself to be in the line of fire).

It might be me coming on too harsh, but online should be - in my opinion - more about own opinions and not remarks on those opinions when they don't align. I've been online for decades and it was different back then. Now people like to call names, even if it's small, and I don't like that. With penpals I expect fun topics. But yes, I've been dealing with anxiety, health issues and stress for the past years and I am online to find new friends I can talk to, but not being belittled. I stay far away from the politics because I know it can create flame wars. Anyways... maybe I was too harsh. For me it was really an observation and a question for myself. Sadly my shielding is long gone.

I realize that this matter carries a personal history and I appreciate the specific sensitivities that may be triggered in your case. However, I do disagree with your comment on the ideal functioning of a public forum of penpals where “remarks on [personal] opinions” are to be excluded when they do not align. It is an inherent feature of a public forum - whether virtual or otherwise - that free expression comes with an open invitation for other participants to respond. Any such response is governed by the same token of free expression and basic forms of moral behaviour and decency. I do agree with you that name calling is a manifest contradiction with the latter and unwarranted in the absence of bad faith.

As follows from my previous post, I sincerely doubt whether bad faith can be established on either side in your small clash in the forum thread referred to above. In public discourse the actual context and any other relevant circumstances dictate whether genuine malicious intent can be said to exist. Part of this context is a teenage member who felt publicly attacked by your remark. This may open the door for a response which - given that specific context - may perhaps be construed as harsh and carrying unsolicited vice. This behaviour is not entirely unique in a teenage setting and I am confident that such response would likely be framed somewhat differently at a later stage in life. I tend to give some additional space to teenage conversationalists - particularly when they feel verbally subdued or humiliated in public - as compared to adults. This additional space is not of an infinite nature and one does not need to accept everything. But there are a number of ways to effectively deal with this matter in a prudent and respectful manner.

Participation in a forum feature offered by a penpals website should not be considered as a perilous journey. Altercations are likely to be minimal and it seems that most participants are not driven by a malicious desire or other forms of bad faith. Topics of appeal can be strategically chosen and any rare misunderstandings can be easily identified as such. People tend to be less aggressive when they discover that the proverbial sword pointing at them is actually a carrot.

In the event that this does not yield a viable setting for your participation, it is completely understandable to exclusively engage in private conversations. Either option is fine and should be respected. My sincere best wishes to you for your future online endeavours!