😢 Dementia ❤️

Hiii everybody 🙋‍♀️ Today i really wanted to make a forum about a really difficult topic for me and it is dementia and I wanted to ask if maybe others know people in the family who have that and what do you do. 😟

My grandmom has dementia and we were with her in China in our vacation from April and we came back 3 days ago. But we knew it did not go really well with her and that she has dementia BUTTTT i did NOTTT know how it went now. I mean of course i know she has difficult time to remember a lot of things and even your name or who you are EVEN when u were super close and talked a LOTTT before. But i did not expect that also if u have dementia that she becomes really scared and worried and confused a lot. Because she can forget several times for example who you are and where she is and she does not know really well how to say it or does not understand what u say. And i think that is really difficult to know what u have to do.

So we just talk and try to make her more calm EVEN if she does not understand u sometimes or forgets it later again or is confused. 🥺😣😢

I thought with dementia u dont know a lot of stuff anymore so maybe it is ok because you dont remember some things and dont understand what is wrong so that is ok if we can help her. But i did not expect that she gets more worried and anxious about things and really confused. Also that you get more pains like headaches or also other pains but they said it is normal if you have dementia and it gets more and more. 🙄🙄

I hope maybe something can be done more about dementia and it is really important. 🙏❤️🙏

People underestimate so many things. Especially mentally. Be blessed u and her and family dear friend🥰🙏

People underestimate so many things. Especially mentally. Be blessed u and her and family dear friend🥰🙏

Thank you very much @Dracula!! 🙏🙏 I think it is really difficult if u cant really do anything. And also we only had the vacation and go back but my dad goes back later i think when he can maybe 1 or 2 weeks. But it is also really expensive and difficult to go now. So i hope that maybe he can go again at least and we stay home.

Do you have also people you know who have that Drakie??

Ur welcome dear friend🙏 yes u feel helpless and want to aid as much as u can.lets hope he can go again.

Yes my grandmother had it but she was funny too as she made remarks about everybody without a filter😆 but still sad ofc.

Ur welcome dear friend🙏 yes u feel helpless and want to aid as much as u can.lets hope he can go again.

Yes my grandmother had it but she was funny too as she made remarks about everybody without a filter😆 but still sad ofc.

I think if you say funny things that is ok because nobody thinks bad about it and understand what is wrong. But i think the worst are that they can become really confused and scared and that you cant do a lot about that. 🙁

Yes when a large lady,ahum came by she would shout wow has she got a fat ass loud as hell😆😁

Yes and the feeling alone vibe.so sad😔

Yes when a large lady,ahum came by she would shout wow has she got a fat ass loud as hell😆😁

Yes and the feeling alone vibe.so sad😔

In that case i would apologise like 890831231 times to that lady and explain why she said it so she understands!!!!! 😬😬

😆😁😆 we did do that many times

Hiii everybody 🙋‍♀️ Today i really wanted to make a forum about a really difficult topic for me and it is dementia and I wanted to ask if maybe others know people in the family who have that and what do you do. 😟

My grandmom has dementia and we were with her in China in our vacation from April and we came back 3 days ago. But we knew it did not go really well with her and that she has dementia BUTTTT i did NOTTT know how it went now. I mean of course i know she has difficult time to remember a lot of things and even your name or who you are EVEN when u were super close and talked a LOTTT before. But i did not expect that also if u have dementia that she becomes really scared and worried and confused a lot. Because she can forget several times for example who you are and where she is and she does not know really well how to say it or does not understand what u say. And i think that is really difficult to know what u have to do.

So we just talk and try to make her more calm EVEN if she does not understand u sometimes or forgets it later again or is confused. 🥺😣😢

I thought with dementia u dont know a lot of stuff anymore so maybe it is ok because you dont remember some things and dont understand what is wrong so that is ok if we can help her. But i did not expect that she gets more worried and anxious about things and really confused. Also that you get more pains like headaches or also other pains but they said it is normal if you have dementia and it gets more and more. 🙄🙄

I hope maybe something can be done more about dementia and it is really important. 🙏❤️🙏

I know the Veterans Hospital where I work has a caregiver support program for family and spouses of Veterans with Dementia. A lot of hospitals should have resources to help your family. I would check with whatever facility cares for her.

I feel for you... my great grandmother and my grandfather both had it 🙁

There's an a musician who did a musical project about the stages of dementia.. quite haunting, but it gave me some tactile understanding of how insidious dementia is ...

The Caretaker

I know the Veterans Hospital where I work has a caregiver support program for family and spouses of Veterans with Dementia. A lot of hospitals should have resources to help your family. I would check with whatever facility cares for her.

I feel for you... my great grandmother and my grandfather both had it 🙁

Thank u very much for writing that and i think it is always super difficult. My uncle and aunt who live with my grandmom take care of her the most time but it is in Nanjing in China and we live in The Netherlands but we didnt know how long she lives now so we were really happy that we could go but i did not exactly what i have to expect about it. So that was really super big shock because i dont know her like that and she got a LOTTT worse and she was never afraid and always like super calm and always knows what to do but now not anymore and mostly super confused and worried.

I dont really know what is possible in Nanjing but i have to ask my dad but i think she does not want to leave bc she is already super confused often in the place now and the house she should know and in a different place maybe it is even worse about the worries. Sorryy i write bit confusing but it is super late and my head feels like a soup but i hope u maybe understand what i try to write.

Have a good night @Dracula and @Based_Aura and everybody because it is now already late here so i have to really sleep now. But i want to read everything tomorrow again when my head is more clearer!!! 🙏🥰🙏

Ohhhhh Nanjing.. ok ok .. East Asian culture tends to suffer in silence with those situations 🙁. and sweet dreams to you. M

Sleep well dear friend,so glad ur back😁🥰🙏

my mom always taught me this, when we finally get old, we'll eventually go back like a child; that's why in the end a kid who finally grow up as an adult, they'll be the one who must be more patient and patient in taking care of their parent. cause they only have us, and when we don't have much time, a caregiver is actually the most realistic option, especially when having dementia.
my brother-in-law have grandpa that has dementia, and he looks so confused and zoned out about whatever that around him. well, I can't say much about this because we can only be patient with them, as they're practically forgetting how to be themselves due to dementia. I hope you're strong, Yue. If you're that worried, there are actually medical and non-medical therapies to help with dementia.

So sorry to hear about your grandmother. Prayers go out to you dear.

Sometimes I feel giving advice or "remedies" in this scenario will not make it any easier, since all of us are heading towards a similar fate, but I suppose I'll do what I do best...

Three things that helped my own family member (who passed last year):

Number one, activity. The age‐old saying "use it or lose it" rings true even for our minds. Studies have shown that retiring is connected to quicker expiration due to inactivity on the physical and mental front, and I have seen firsthand what sedentary lifestyles do to people.

The second thing that's equally important is hydration and high fat/protein rich foods (if she consumes little, hydrating foods like soft‐cooked eggs, lamb, salmon and soups with a little butter or tallow are excellent for the brain).

Last but not least, time with loved ones and prayer (also proven to delay the effects of dementia).

Alas, there is nothing you will regret more than where you spend your time. Hold fast to that which is good. God bless you♥

Thank u very much @mayuuram and @Follower-of-Christ for what u wrote!!! Sorryyy that i did not write back yesterday evening but we have a test today at school so i had to prepare it. I can only type a little now with breakfast but i asked my dad because of what @Based_Aura wrote but it is not possible to move her because my uncle and aunt can give her the best care. That is because she feels most calmly with them and still recognises them. And if you bring her to a different place with people she does not know or the place she does not know she can be super anxious. Also like what @Follower-of-Christ wrote about the food my aunt cooks most of the time and it is really healthy and better than that other people maybe give. And if you want a really good place you have to pay a lot of money and we dont have that but that is ok. Because i think now is the best and my aunt is at home a lot and my uncle works and my dad goes maybe soon again too.

And i think what @mayuuram said is right about that you are like the opposite. So if you are the child you take care of the parents and that is also super Chinese tradition that you take care of your parents and your grandparents when you can do that and it is really important. But i did not expect that if you have dementia that you also are scared or super confused all the time. I just thought it was about forgetting everything the most but not feeling that way too. My aunt said that my dad knew that already but he did not say it to me before the trip because he said that only worries me and it is important to focus on the school and not about the worries. So that is why he did not tell it for a long time.

Sorryy that i cant write more now but i have to bike soon!!!!! I hope everybody has a nice day!!! 🥰❤️🤗

I'm sorry for your grandma. I don't want to sugarcoat my comment, I had the same situation with my family member several years ago. He was a very intelligent and well above age of life expectancy in Croatia. When he got dementia, he shut down physically and mentally. From very intelligent person he became unable to finish the sentence. Your grandma probably won't ever forget you, nor her other grandchildren and children despite forgetting everything else. I don't know how old she is, but it's probably old age form of dementia which is usually progressive, but treatment and support can help symptoms and quality of life. I would encourage you to talk to her if not everyday then at least a few times per week. Follower of Christ has already given you some great advices: physical activity, hydration and healthy diet (check with doctors that part to be completely sure because we aren't doctors here and everyone's situation is different), spending time with her and praying for her soul and health. I would like to add that you and everybody else can also follow these advices, it's better to start as soon as possible because the body remembers everything.

Today is the feast of St Domnius, he is the patron saint of Archdiocese Split-Makarska where I live, so I have already planned to attend Mass today. Now I have an additional motivation - to offer the Mass for your grandma and your family. I will also ask St Domnius to intercede for her health and for peace to all of you

I'm sorry for your grandma. I don't want to sugarcoat my comment, I had the same situation with my family member several years ago. He was a very intelligent and well above age of life expectancy in Croatia. When he got dementia, he shut down physically and mentally. From very intelligent person he became unable to finish the sentence. Your grandma probably won't ever forget you, nor her other grandchildren and children despite forgetting everything else. I don't know how old she is, but it's probably old age form of dementia which is usually progressive, but treatment and support can help symptoms and quality of life. I would encourage you to talk to her if not everyday then at least a few times per week. Follower of Christ has already given you some great advices: physical activity, hydration and healthy diet (check with doctors that part to be completely sure because we aren't doctors here and everyone's situation is different), spending time with her and praying for her soul and health. I would like to add that you and everybody else can also follow these advices, it's better to start as soon as possible because the body remembers everything.

Today is the feast of St Domnius, he is the patron saint of Archdiocese Split-Makarska where I live, so I have already planned to attend Mass today. Now I have an additional motivation - to offer the Mass for your grandma and your family. I will also ask St Domnius to intercede for her health and for peace to all of you

Thank u very much @Korisnik that is super kind!!! 🙏🙏🥰 I dont know how to pray in your religion but we believe in our faith that all religions are important and good not only Buddhism but if you pray it is good and important. And im really thankful for that if you also do that for others that is really kind!! ❤️

Today i spoke a long time with one other person from my class and we are maybe not very good friends yet but she heard about China and we spoke today after all the classes and a test we had for more than an hour. Because she has also a family member who NOW has dementia and my mentor also saw us and sit really short with us and said we must also do things that distract you because if you ONLY think about it and worry it is not good. We did not talk a lot more with her because she did have to give another class but it was nice she also said that.

And @Korisnik we try to speak often but it is difficult because she is with my uncle and aunt in China and we are in The Netherlands. And if it is only calling without video or even with but it is only on a small screen she does not always understand it. But we still try that a lot but sometimes it doesnt really work. And im sorry about your grandfather and i hope that he did not suffer a lot from the dementia in the way that he got super scared or confused. That is i think the worst if you get that!

I understand that it can be hard to connect across the globe since old people and modern technology usually don't have a good relationship 🤣. But there are still your uncle and aunt who can do it for her and look after her. I am glad you have such a nice mentor who really cares about students. That's a true blessing 😇.

Thank you for your kind words. I think he didn't suffer at all, I've only noticed he was becoming more and more like a baby, but he hasn't been experiencing any pain. I saw your post just in time - I was just about to start getting ready for the Mass so I decided to bring that with me to Church. I hope anybody who read this will say at least a brief prayer whenever read or see that somebody is in distress - sometimes it's less than a minute of our time but I believe it can really help the person. If somebody doesn't know how to pray that doesn't matter too much, just say it with your own words from your heart.