The Valley Of Death
Yes, it was a day like so many others before. The sun was rising above the pines and
a few clouds were moving almost imperceptibly from the west across the blue sky.
I
tried hard, but could not get anything out of the possibilities hovering in my mind.
My attention was drawn to the past ... it drifted to you.
In the stranglehold of the past, I am the one left behind, compelled to make
choices.
Trust is tested and all superficial phrases condense far away from all usual
happenings.
Confronted with divine equanimity, I begin to wander — back into the valley.
The people
on the way — strangers but friendly — greet me.
Once in the valley, I reach my core. It is the valley of death. Here hangs my
attention.
Here I have dropped anchor. Time has no meaning when the past has become the
dwelling place. Today, yes today — I feel embedded by the smell of the conifers and
the
green mosses, the veil begins to lift. I feel my body breathing — my heart's still
beating. The sun rising to its zenith.
You were my space ... the future in which time unfolded. You gave me focus — my
live
purpose. However, I must not stay ... must leave you here. I follow a
premonition and
the chirping of birds accompanies me. I see myself in the distance — walking.
I have not found a future goal yet — I feel and like to believe I am moving
towards it.
It is a passage ... just as life as a whole is only a passage. We come, we stay — for a
short while we gain experience and finally we have to leave.
The day wants to slip into its dark half and the sun seems to sink into the
lake. Over
the horizon, the air is shimmering. The voice inside ... “Linger just for a
moment ...! “
I look back once more, lift my anchor and finally ... a soundless goodbye.
Home again — children are playing in the courtyard. We reveal our wishes and
share a
few secretes never told. You will forever inhabit a place in my heart. My heart
is not
broken! I just had to learn a lesson. It was not the first one, but such a
lesson in love…
(The moment, when I finally could let go my lover ... after death had taken
her)
