Understand the way people acting... English

Hello guys

I think the way people acting could be complicated to understand. I often questioned myself about the relionship I could have had with people, especially with penfriends (are they really appreciate me? etc...)

Please could you react to these situations below, tell me if it is already happened to you and what did you do? Have you ever done this to someone and why? So tell me about reactions...

1- When I talk to penfriends (on facebook) we often have good exchanges, we speak about many things, laugh etc... But the following days I must always start the conversation or they won't do it. So, after a while I finally ask if there is a problem or if I don't bother and the answer is always the same: "no, you don't bother me, I like talk to you". So what is the real problem there? Why should I always be the first to start a conversation?

2- This is almost the same case but a little different... When I want talk to penfriends (on facebook too) they say I have no time now, so they tell me "I talk to you in the evening"; I can understand they have things to do, 'till there's no problem ~ So I say them if you are OK message me we could talk later. But the problem is now, this is the evening and they are online but no one message me. In this situation what should I do: I let it down and I let them answer when they would like to (but they won't...) ? or I say again "Hello!", in other words I start again the conversation ?

I really would love you to share opinions and feelings about what happened to me, maybe this is the same for you.
~ Thanks guys, I wait your reply

MaryCassy

Hi,
i have the same situation like you with person who i'm send messages and with person who send me. sometimes i don't have good humor to talking and then i write something like this what you write in your post. This is stupid i know but this is true. I think you must wait till this person send you a message, if this person don't send you messages by the long time then you will forget about this person🙂

maybe i do many mistakes, if this is true i'll be grateful when somebody tell me about it and show me how this is must be properly😉

Michał

I have to admit that I did something similar to this once, but it was because I was suspicious of the other person.

My problem has to deal with a simple communication principle of equivalent exchange. For example, if I tell you my name, I expect you to tell me yours or if I tell you that my house is green, then I expect you to tell me what color your house is. So the person who I talked to asked me a lot of personal questions, but never once disclose anything personal at all. I became very suspicious after the first chat, so I just stop talking to that person all together, ignoring every messages and stuff. In your case, that person may have felt the same way as me, but I highly doubt it because you guys were chatting on Facebook.

What I think is that the person was simply annoyed by how much effort he/she has to put into this "penpal" thing. An example would be if you are trying to learn a new language and then you found out after the first day that it is super difficult and requires countless hours of practice.

I can tell by your post that you love to write. If you were to write a lot and the other person only care to write 3 sentences, then that's where the problem lies: equivalent exchange. Since you write a lot, the other person is somewhat forced to write a lot as well.

Hope this helps.

Ken