So I'm more of someone grounded in reason but I had a flyer for a certain Madam Zelda who can see into your future. She says she's not like other fortune tellers so I was like what the hell. Life can't be worse than it is right now. I mean have you seen the economy? So I walk in and it smells like weed. And in my mind I'm thinking 'Someone is definitely seeing a lot of visions in here..' We introduce ourselves and then touches her crystal ball. She said something in romanian and didn't even take one look at the ball. She leaned in and whispered: "I've seen your future, it's a horrorscope"
She looked at my palm and said, "The good news is you're going to live a long life. The bad news is you're going to spend most of it looking for your keys."
I say "That's it? I pay $100 dollars for some discount gypsy to tell me I'll lose my keys. Come on lady, tell me the important stuff...."
She sighs, leans over her crystal ball until her nose is almost touching the glass, and narrows her eyes. "Fine," she whispers, "you want the 'important' stuff? I see a great journey in your future."
My eyes light up. "A journey? Like a tropical vacation? An expedition?"
"Not exactly. It’s a trek. A odyssey of the mind..."She starts sweating, clutching her temples like she's seeing the end of the world, then whispers: "I see... a hallway. You're holding a spatula... and you have no idea why."
That’s the horror of it. You never find the keys, and you never remember why you needed the spatula in the first place....