I dont like two of my friends. Yea rough take but i have reasons. Sometimes they can be nice like listening to what i say or keeping me company during lunch where they dont eat but i still do or let me talk about my interests or life.
But thats only on rare cases.
Usually they just talk loudly about stuff that can really damage reputation. One day they ware making theories about weather i am a gay or something like that. Im not its a higly homophobic small town where everybody knows everybody. Im not even a fan of those views if you know what i mean but i tolarate them. If i rumour breaks out im something like that there goes my reputation. And they think its fun to talk about it and if i make any comment on how i would appriciate on them keeping those discussions between themselves and not yell them loudly i would appriciate it. I didnt even condem it but then the other one (junkie) starts yelling its because im a homophobic asshole. And this stuff is always happening. Them speaking loudly stuff about me or about eachother one day they started to activly tell everybody that i have colourblidness or every single medical issue i have mentioned to them briefly or symptom that they analyze and then tell that on. I had a concussion while back i only told a few close friends about the true cause of it but the nect thing i know when im back at school is unknown people asking me if its true. I dont even like to talk like at all. And it damaged my sisters reputation cause tehy told my sister caused the insident witch is true. It harmed her reputation since junkie told my sisters teachers and in frot of her friend group. Needless to say i ahve promised that if she tries to approach my sister again i will stab her with a pen. One week they told me i has autism apperantly second week it was how i have internaticed homophobia then third week i was apperantly a sadomasocist. None of that stuff is true but i bet half my class thinks they are since those two cant keep theyr voice low or mouth shut. They always tell me my opinion is wrong no matter what if we even talk a bit about politics or stuff like that and the conversation always ends with either thats cause your a racist or your homophobic or you have anger issues. Like let me tell my opinions in peace please freedom of speach dosent only apply to you. Then its always drama with them im now holding both of theyr secrests from eachother cause they want to gossip. Oh and really the other (squeeky) dosent like the junkie and junkie knows this cause one other person lepakko who i despice had told junkie about what squeeky said about her. And to top if of junkie told lepakko that i hate her. Thanks about that. They also embrace stuff that ticks me off like finglish (Finnish and English mixed) or talking about my heigth they have a obsession with that. Also i used to figth a lot with junkie things have since calmed down but there is tension.
But im always the spare friend the one who is always quiet cause they are not listened. Or when they tell you about stuff you can always say i know i was standing next to you and they would be shocked cause they didnt notice me. Or they just abandon me somewhere. My other friends dont like how they treat me they have said taht many times but does it spot well no.
Its not only that they do other stuff but that isnt about me. They smoke like a lot i have tried to make them stop but no. Nothing works. At first it was just the junkie and i made the squeeky promise me not to start. A week later i hear from junkie squeeky started smoking. Im not a angel either im a drinker myself but i would never influence one of my friends to that life. But for them they just feed of bad stuff.
I cant really leave them tried it many times tho since they are in the same class as me and none of my classmates are really in speaking terms with me cause i have spoken like 3 words to them in 3 years.
The funny thing is that squeeker always talks trash about junkie and saying im happy we can leave her in a few months not knowing im leaving them both. Junkie also says the same stuff as squeeker. Im tired of being the neutral ground.
Hope some od that makes sence im writing this in 23.47 ive been at church the whole day serving soup to elderly and im echausted.
