I always expect myself to be perfect and not make any mistakes or sm. Do some of you have any tips to give yourself the space to make mistakes and not feel pressured?
Welcome to Penpal-Gate! Find your ideal penpal today. Please log in or create a profile.
I think sometimes about is, because I feel delayed in current world, in some aspects and I "lost" some years of my life.
What can You do in my opinion is... At first, and it's popular sentence: don't compare Yourself to others.
Another one: acknowledge that You are still young, so You have really a lot of time to fix things You think that doesn't work in You, or to generally work on Yourself, achieve what You want, start what You want.
Know, that nobody does everything perfect. People that are doing well, made a looot of mistakes, but we don't know it or don't see this, so we think that it was probably going good and easy for them, or that they are taking it without any doubts or weaknesses.
And the thing I really like, well... As the fan of fantasy, anime, and generally epic and pathos of hard work and falling again and again, like some hero from tales. Not everyone thinks that way or likes thos, but remember: strenght is perfected in weakness!
And don't fall in this... Still popular trend and lifestyle like: "Be productive all the time! Read in every free time, run few businesses, practice few hobbies, jump on parachute, then go to yoga, then get in the dress and go for the concert!"
No. It's okay to doing nothing sometimes, even often. It's okay just to sit and rest, to do something not as ambitious. I say that, altough I know nothing about You or your life, but I know many people feels the pressure because of that. They think they are bad because they don't climb the Mount Everest or something.
Of course mistakes are different, depends of the thing we do. Just slow down and take it easier. You have a lot of time for everything.
I think sometimes about is, because I feel delayed in current world, in some aspects and I "lost" some years of my life.
What can You do in my opinion is... At first, and it's popular sentence: don't compare Yourself to others.
Another one: acknowledge that You are still young, so You have really a lot of time to fix things You think that doesn't work in You, or to generally work on Yourself, achieve what You want, start what You want.
Know, that nobody does everything perfect. People that are doing well, made a looot of mistakes, but we don't know it or don't see this, so we think that it was probably going good and easy for them, or that they are taking it without any doubts or weaknesses.
And the thing I really like, well... As the fan of fantasy, anime, and generally epic and pathos of hard work and falling again and again, like some hero from tales. Not everyone thinks that way or likes thos, but remember: strenght is perfected in weakness!
And don't fall in this... Still popular trend and lifestyle like: "Be productive all the time! Read in every free time, run few businesses, practice few hobbies, jump on parachute, then go to yoga, then get in the dress and go for the concert!"
No. It's okay to doing nothing sometimes, even often. It's okay just to sit and rest, to do something not as ambitious. I say that, altough I know nothing about You or your life, but I know many people feels the pressure because of that. They think they are bad because they don't climb the Mount Everest or something.
Of course mistakes are different, depends of the thing we do. Just slow down and take it easier. You have a lot of time for everything.
Thank you for taking the time to respond. I feel like that popular lifestyle trend puts a lot of pressure on me. I always feel like I should be productive, achieving things. And comparing with others is always easy to do, but it drains me to do so.
At this point it's hard for me to know what I really want to do and what others expect me to do and distuingishing that. I wonder, when I do something, if I really want to, or if I feel like other people expect me to behave that way. I don't know if you feel like that too sometimes?
Perfectionism is self-abuse of the highest order. Being meticulous or perfectionist, are two different concepts. Meticulous person focuses on improvisation of the potential results. Perfectionist rather focuses on the potential reactions, not the results. Because At its very root, It’s about fear. Fear of making a mistake. Fear of disappointing others. Allowing yourself to make mistakes seems like the single most effective way to get rid of it. Mistake is not a synonym for shame, failure, or disappoinment at all. On the contrary, mistakes are the best tutors for us on our path to wisdom. The very core of existence is based on duality. If we have a place for perfection in us, then we must have equal room for imperfection as well. That's the balance of healthy stand against all odds. After all, real perfection is to able to proud of your imperfections and embrace them as a natural part of yours.
Perfectionism is self-abuse of the highest order. Being meticulous or perfectionist, are two different concepts. Meticulous person focuses on improvisation of the potential results. Perfectionist rather focuses on the potential reactions, not the results. Because At its very root, It’s about fear. Fear of making a mistake. Fear of disappointing others. Allowing yourself to make mistakes seems like the single most effective way to get rid of it. Mistake is not a synonym for shame, failure, or disappoinment at all. On the contrary, mistakes are the best tutors for us on our path to wisdom. The very core of existence is based on duality. If we have a place for perfection in us, then we must have equal room for imperfection as well. That's the balance of healthy stand against all odds. After all, real perfection is to able to proud of your imperfections and embrace them as a natural part of yours.
Thank you for your words 🙏
Thank you for taking the time to respond. I feel like that popular lifestyle trend puts a lot of pressure on me. I always feel like I should be productive, achieving things. And comparing with others is always easy to do, but it drains me to do so.
At this point it's hard for me to know what I really want to do and what others expect me to do and distuingishing that. I wonder, when I do something, if I really want to, or if I feel like other people expect me to behave that way. I don't know if you feel like that too sometimes?
Oh, yes, there is some phenomenon "How much of myself I really am". It's good to be aware of that, but You never verify it. We always be dependent of/from someone, something.
I whole life wanted to be... Well, someone. It change when I was 20 or more. It often really takes time. How can You know what to do in the future, or generally, if You don't know all things yet? For now I would propose to go into things You feel that interests You.
I also believe it takes some time and thinking, to understand and to "feel" that expectations of others doesn't matter. Sure, sometimes, in few exceptions, like being good daughter, taking care of someone, being trustworthy, but not things like: someone expect You will be doctor, lawyer, or something like this.
But knowing this all, being aware, is first step to change.
It's like with map: first, know where You are, because just then, You can take direction to follow.
My another... Hm. Excercise? Let's call it. I likes to imagine myself afrer year, after 6, 10 years, or more. Not just profession, but generally, as character, as archetype: my hobbies, my style, my social circle (do I like few friends, or i like going on club parties?), my way of living.
Let's play a bit and check what version in your imagination makes You currently feeling like: "oh, that fits to me" "oh, that's someone I would like to be like".
Hii @-Kiki- 🥰🥰 I am happy that you made this forum bc it is super important. For me i cant give you a lot of tips myself. I dont think i am too much a perfectionist BUTTTT i know what that pressure means bc my DAD is like that and he demands it for me. So for example if i get a test and i get an 8 for example it is a really good grade i think. But he will ask like what did you do wrong or was there somebody who got a higher grade. 🙁 So like it is never enough.
But my mentor gave me a lot of tips ANDDDD she talks with my parents too. So she said to him that if he pressures me i will get lower grades. And for me she said it is NOTTTT about what others do bc that would be stupid. She said the ONLY thing that is important what you want. So for example: i want to become a medicine researcher in the future OR a journalist. So she says: what do you need for that? And that is important. So it is not about what others do BUT instead what do YOU NEED to do what YOU want.
Sorry i am not very good in giving tips but i hope that maybe the tip that my mentor gave also helps you.
ANDDD if you would need to compare (but i dont think that it is good to do): i look up to you about a lot of things. I dont know if that is important but i do want to say it to you. But maybe i already did in the past. So maybe you look up to people but at least I look up to you.