In China, parents always like to compare their children with other children. For example, a parent thinks his child is bad at math, while his child's deskmate is good at math. The parent would say, ’how come you and your deskmate are taught math by the same teacher and he does it so well? You should reflect.‘
Does that happen in your country?
In Russia parents also can compare you with someone else. Like "a son/ a daughter of my friend/colleague is working so hard, he/she is the best student, etc."
Personally, I hate when parents compare their children and their successes with someone else. And I consider it is not right at all, because it would not make a child motivated.
More of that, each person has different aptitude.
In Russia parents also can compare you with someone else. Like "a son/ a daughter of my friend/colleague is working so hard, he/she is the best student, etc."
Personally, I hate when parents compare their children and their successes with someone else. And I consider it is not right at all, because it would not make a child motivated.
More of that, each person has different aptitude.
Yes, and it could have more serious consequences. Last year a girl in our school committed suicide because she couldn't stand her parents' behavior of comparing her with her relatives of the same age.
That's horrible, poor girl...In Russia parents also can compare you with someone else. Like "a son/ a daughter of my friend/colleague is working so hard, he/she is the best student, etc."
Personally, I hate when parents compare their children and their successes with someone else. And I consider it is not right at all, because it would not make a child motivated.
More of that, each person has different aptitude.Yes, and it could have more serious consequences. Last year a girl in our school committed suicide because she couldn't stand her parents' behavior of comparing her with her relatives of the same age.
she was a good studentThat's horrible, poor girl...In Russia parents also can compare you with someone else. Like "a son/ a daughter of my friend/colleague is working so hard, he/she is the best student, etc."
Personally, I hate when parents compare their children and their successes with someone else. And I consider it is not right at all, because it would not make a child motivated.
More of that, each person has different aptitude.Yes, and it could have more serious consequences. Last year a girl in our school committed suicide because she couldn't stand her parents' behavior of comparing her with her relatives of the same age.
Do you know about golem effect and pygmalion effect?what's that ?
Do you know about golem effect and pygmalion effect?what's that ?
Golem effect is that:
And I consider it is not right at all, because it would not make a child motivated.
Pygmalion effect is the opposite, see these (existing in other languages):
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pygmalion_effect
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Golem_effect
Everyone has its eaknesses and everyone has its strengths. If your child has a lower grade, better try to know the reason why (and no not always because of lazyness or weakness of studying not hard enough). In the west, it is not bad to stand out from the crowd, but children from primary school does like to compare in my country, which is less common in middle and high school, and is in some cases even unheard of at university.
university is likely too complex to compare anything, except maybe to compare to people actually already out of the crowd 😆 (like very bad and really good ones)
I feel like it’s the same here. Comparing sounds a little childish, so we do it mainly with children, and less when adults.
Every parent does it at a point, whatever the country or the culture, that's natural. And as long as they don't harass you, it's not always bad, it can help you grow up by being able to stand up for yourself and say "well, I don't care, I can't be good everywhere and you'll have to accept me as I am". Besides, you can also tell them you'd rather focus on what you're good at instead of copying others.
learn to stand up that in a society which normalize hiercarchization of individuals sure is not only useful but important, yet getting this from parents’ direct action rather than advice sounds pretty sad.
I mean it’s like your parents teaching you to get up again when you’re beatten by beating you, rather than by telling or advising you about it.
I strongly agree with you, my fellow country mate 😁, it's of course way better if you got parents trying to understand why you wouldn't do what they want the way they want you to instead of pressuring you indeed. And of course, every person being different, some people might not find the inner strength to confront when necessary, especially at a young age.
