Caty_827

I'm a 17-year-old female, and I live in Italy .

I speak Italian and some English, Spanish

Current level: Expert

• 3

• My interests in other cultures

  I love other cultures and I am very fond of foreign traditions and customs, so if you want to write to me I'd be glad to. I literally hate my country, so my little dream is to travel in another one.

  My best friend is from Ukraine and many of my classmates were born or lived abroad, so everyday we talk about where they were to and foreign customs, cultures and much more.

  Update: My ex-bff was from Ukraine and some middle school classmates were from abroad.
  I'm in 9th grade now so I'm not in the same class as them

• Favourite books/authors/films

  I don't have a favorite movie or a particular favorite book, but I love cinema and books, when I have free time I spend hours reading or watching TV series and movies.
  I've been in love with manga and anime for a while and, even if I don't know many of them, all the ones I've seen / read are really beautiful.
  I LOVE Marvel Cinematic Universe and I decided to start reading comics.

• Living abroad for one year

  I have never lived abroad but I would definitely like to.
  here in Italy it's fine, of course, but every time I go abroad I feel much more relaxed and cheerful.
  furthermore, foreign countries arouse in me strong curiosity and admiration.
  I think I would go in the USA, maybe Los Angeles because it looks like a wonderful city.

• I always enjoy talking about...

  topics that I particularly like are nature, sports, foreign cultures, animals and food, but the topics I love most are the art, music, LARP (Love action roleplay), the sea and Marvel.
  We can talk about anything because I'm interested in almost every single thing except politics, history and *maybe* school?

• Cities and countries I have visited

  so far I have only been in Holland and France, but I would like to go around the world a bit

  Update: I'm trying to save money for a long holiday in the USA and, if they'll be enough, I could go there this summer.

• Making the world a better place

  this is a particularly delicate subject and which, in my case, is very important.
  unfortunately the planet is suffering many problems, such as global warming and, consequently, the melting of the ice, the destruction of unique habitats, the risk of extinction of some animal species, the rising of the seas, desertification and many others.
  all this is due to us, who pollute our home without realizing what is happening and destroy our own planet.
  there are those who do not care because they believe it is a problem that does not concern them but it is not at all so because, in my opinion, it concerns everyone.
  I, as a young person, expect me to be left with a healthy world in which I can live without problems, which is nothing more than right to me and all young people.
  There also are other problems such as homophobia, racism, sexism... I really can't understand why some people hate the different. Like it is something to be hated. The different is something to be loved and appreciated because we could learn a lot from people who aren't like us.
  Also wars.
  Well I can't believe we still make war. Families with men, women, babies suffer everyday because of the war and I just can't stand this. I wish I was able to do something about it.

• Personal skills

  I'm good at sports, especially extreme ones.
  I am an Advanced Open Water Diver, I will probably continue with the course until I become a DiveMaster.
  I have a very special bond with my animals (I have two turtles, two Russian hamsters, four cats and a dog), one of the cats in particular I consider her almost a sister because she has almost human attitudes, for example if I ask her something she starts meowing as if to answer and if I tell her to sit up she sits up
  I really like climbing, in fact since I was a child I climbed every tree I met and now I'm doing a course.
  I love swimming, skiing and I love video games.
  I also started a Hip Hop course and I'm improving my English skills.
  I would like to learn French and Spanish but it's hard to do it by myself because I don't know how to start.

• My proudest accomplishments

  at the elementary school I learned a very particular language, the LIS (Italian Sign Language).
  I am very proud of this detail, because for me to be able to communicate even without words, but only with gestures and expressions, is a very special and beautiful thing.
  I also came out as a genderfluid, and waiting for the right moment to reveal my sexuality.

• Childhood pleasures

  as a child I enjoyed playing ball on the seashore with some friends and with a nice ice cream in my hand.
  I remember that, in addition to the sea, I loved the mountains and, in fact, we spent every winter in Alagna, a very small village with stone and wooden houses, lost in a valley right next to a wood, where most of the people were visitors .
  the village was full of shelters, which then continued on the ridge of the mountain, up to the summit.
  I remember that I went around alone, because by now I knew all the streets by heart, and that I wandered in search of some child to play with.
  together we went to get milk from the columns scattered all over the village, we played hide and seek in the woods, picnics, we went on the cable cars to reach a place where there were always ibex,
  we skied and played.
  in front of our refuge there was a meadow with lots of flowers, there were always two or three ibexes with the puppies, grazing and then returning to the mountain.
  I still perfectly remember the smell of freshness and milk that characterized that village, I remember the shops with wooden objects, I remember the delicatessen and butchers, I remember the sound of the wind rustling through the trees.
  I also remember the sound of the bells in the small church, the sound of the bells around the neck of the cows, the laughter that I and the others were having on the banks of the stream, when we splashed.
  then there were the trattorias and restaurants, at the top of the cable car, where I always had a boiling polenta with sausage and gorgonzola.
  I loved that place, with the air so pure and clear, where everyone was always happy, where there were children running and playing around.
  there I felt free.
  I felt myself.

• As a child, I wish...

  when I was little one of my many dreams was to be able to fly.
  in the air it all seemed so simple, funny, so beautiful ...
  of course I would have liked to be an astronaut, as many children dream of, and I would have liked to have been able to talk to animals.
  I also wanted to visit all the countries of the world, and I still want this today

• I wish people knew more about...

  this thing is my personal thing, which I never talk to anyone about, partly because I'm shy, partly because I don't know how others would react ...
  since kindergarten, for a problem I have, they all made fun of me and nobody ever wanted me.
  even in elementary school I was excluded, because most of my class always dressed in fashion and was always updated on new trends, while I always dressed sporty.
  this thing was then repeated in middle school.
  in my middle class they were all trendy and up to date and they all followed one named Irene ...
  she was always arrogant and always teased me about the way I dressed.
  she demanded that everything and everyone be as she wanted, if she said one thing, it had to be like that, period.
  unfortunately Irene fixed it in her head that I was unlucky and that I should be excluded.
  for this reason the whole class has always ignored me, pretended that I was not there ...
  this hurt me a lot and I often came home crying.
  at night I kept wondering what I had ever done wrong and why everyone hated me ...
  until I finally fell asleep.
  I tried not to show my sadness, the pain I felt ... I kept everything inside and tried not to let anything leak out.
  I have never talked about it with the teachers or with my parents, nor with anyone else.
  now I am very shy and introverted, I speak very little and I am afraid of being misjudged.
  alwais excluded ... it's really horrible
  if only they could understand it maybe they wouldn't treat me like that ...

• A personal challenge

  I think that nature is truly extraordinary ..... everything is balanced, every animal or plant has its place on our planet .. but unfortunately we humans are destroying it, as can be seen even from burnt forests or species now extinct .. for this I would like to commit myself, even in my small way, individually, in trying to improve something.

• 10 years from now

  In about ten years, I would really like to be able to move to some remote village in America, or to a small town in Japan .. I would like to open a restaurant with some friends and live a life abroad, because here in Italy I'm bored. always the same things, every day, for 17 years, it's hard to bear, it's very boring. I would like to travel a little around the world and become a DiveMaster, in order to dive just about everywhere. I have many other small and big dreams, which are partly achievable, partly unrealizable .. but I will keep them all close to me, in order to try to make them come true.

• Something uncommon about me

  This is the 1th part.

  I am going through a very, very sad phase, where I have lost the will to do anything.
  When I wake up in the morning, the first thing I think about is that I have a long, endless day of tiredness ahead of me. Just at the idea of ​​having to get up I feel like my heart is exploding, a void is created inside me and I can hardly hold back the tears.
  I don't eat breakfast, because I'm not hungry. when i go to school i never talk to anyone and the only one who is with me is my best friend. I am less and less attentive during the lessons and I find more and more careful to study even at home. I have lost the desire to do anything for a year now .. I have no desire or strength to get up in the morning, of course it has always been tiring, but I have never cried because I had to get up I had to hold back the screams of liberation for the pain and the sense of oppression I felt; I have no desire or strength to eat or drink; I have neither desire nor strength to laugh, joke, play and have fun with friends or even alone, whereas before I was always out walking, laughing and chatting with them; I have neither desire nor strength to play sports, which before I literally loved; I have neither desire nor strength to study, to be careful, concentrate and commit myself, while before I was (I swear, I don't say this to brag because I hate myself enough, but that's to clarify) among the 3 best in the class .. the only thing what I can do is think of the sufferings that I have never had that have brought me to this state, staring into space and, every now and then, letting a few tears escape. I have lost the will to do anything and I no longer commit myself to anything, I have lost the will to live. it's a time of real depression for me, and I find it really hard to go on. the only thing that makes me do is love for my friend, my family and the thought that something will change sooner or later, at least a minimum.
  Continue below.
  *

• A trick or piece of advice

  *This is the 2th part.
  And this is for all those who suffer.

  I feel really bad, my legs are missing, I don't feel my feet as I walk, it's like I'm floating in the void. I always feel oppressed, anxious, sad, demoralized .. I can't even think of trying to do something that I burst into tears because I already know I won't. I cry a little from sadness, a little from anger, a little from the sense of helplessness .. all things that always grip me, all day, and then I have to vent at night, hiding my face underneath to the pillow, curling up in the blankets and start screaming, crying and moaning. sometimes I vent so much that my head dizzy, I feel almost faint from exertion, I no longer have tears in my eyes and air in my lungs. yet it is not enough. despite all the outburst, nothing changes. because with all the emotions I feel, mixed as one, they are too heavy to get rid of by crying.
  Well, however I can keep going, that's what matters. even if without a sense, a goal, without desire, I continue. so .. I take this opportunity to say to all those who suffer: you are not alone. you will always have someone by your side who will help and support you. if you feel bad, try to turn the page, throw away, away, everything that causes you this pain. "the lion is wounded, not dead. and now he can get up, stronger and more pissed than before."
  for this be persistent, be strong, and continue. all. I ORDER IT, OK ??! <3 <3
  remember that you will always be loved.

• I'm an expert at...

  Uhm.. that's pretty difficult, i think.. there are lots of think I'm an expert into.
  I am an expert on both normal and extreme sports. for example volleyball, five-a-side football, swimming, archery, mini golf and karate, but also diving, climbing, mountaineering, canyoning, kayaking and I would also love to do parachuting. as a hobby I love bunjee jumping, climbing everything possible, creating obstacle courses, training in running and with horniness, swimming and stick.
  Then I'm an animal expert, undoubtedly. I have 2 hamsters, 2 turtles, 4 cats and I had 2 fish, 2 budgies, 1 sparrow, a dog and a rabbit. animals are certainly not easy to keep, but I'm just fine with it and I relax in taking care of them.
  I'm pretty good at math, science, astronomy and computer science, but also at writing great texts.
  I can say that I manage to comfort and reassure people, because I have lived numerous experiences that have led me to a high level of empathy, so I always manage to put myself in the shoes of others and in some way to help.
  As a last thing I can say that I am good at playing the guitar and the uculele (even if the latter I have just learned to play it and I am not exactly an expert), that I know how to cook discreetly, that I have a lot of imagination, which I use to draw and to create objects of all kinds, and to be able to sing very well.
  I'm into Marvel movies too and I love talking about it with people who know what I'm saying

• I recently learnt...

  This has been a long, boring and horrible two years.. so I didn't learned anything.
  Only how to be really depressed, lonely sad, angry and bored all the time.

  Update:
  Woah I was so depressed.... Ok lmao I'm way better now thanks to my online friends!
  I learned Hip Hop and many things about actors and singers

• It was better before

  Unfortunately, after arguing with some girls because they had, let's say, "replaced" me with another friend, I lost the only friends I had, and after I said some very private things to my best friend she was shocked and she decided that our paths had to separate and that it was better to stop being friends.
  Since covid started I have always had more difficulties in approaching other people and above all I have stopped doing anything ... both going out with friends, dinners out, evenings at the cinema, evenings at bowling ... and I stopped all sports.
  Also I have more and more difficulty studying since covid and now the exams are approaching and I'm really too anxious!

• Something to tell the world!

  everything above written ...👌🤣
  XD

• It is better now

  I'm feeling so much better than last year. I found real friends and people who care and worry about me, and people to love. I found a lot of new interests.